Horrified at being my heaviest weight EVER, I decided it was time for a fresh start. I signed up for eDiets and the 5-day meal delivery in the hopes that that will give me a kickstart in the right direction. While I can’t afford to stay on the delivery plan for long, I’m hopeful that eating the right things for a couple of weeks, and the convienence of having them at home and ready for me, will help me start breaking some really bad habits.
A week from tomorrow, I leave for my much-needed, well-deserved vacation to Cozumel. It was supposed to be a girls’ trip, but everyone but me and Red wimped out. Apparently everyone else is afraid to go with us because we are just “party party party.” Whatever.
Red and V went to Los Cabos last year (I couldn’t go because they accidentally scheduled it on top of a work conference I had to attend). Red and V had never really hung out or spent time together one on one, so they got to know each other a little better I suppose. V is very laid-back most of the time, and was looking forward to carefree days, lounging by the pool or on the beach. Red, who had been through some rough stuff with her husband recently, was in full let-her-hair-down-and-live-it-up mode. So needless to say, there were some conflicts. Nothing major, and they both had fun, but I guess some residual comments have been made.
Either way, Red and I are going to have a blast. I just know it! I’m all for lounging with a book and a pina colada on the beach, sight-seeing, and nights out partying. We’ve got 5 days, so time for a little of everything. And since Red and I DO hang out and DO know each other pretty damned well, I don’t think we’ll have any problems telling the other one when we’ve had enough of something.
The downside, Red is about 5 foot 4 inches tall, with a great figure. Me, I’m 5 foot 7, and a good 70 pounds heavier right now…the heaviest I’ve ever been in my life. We’re going to look like Mutt & Jeff. I didn’t get nearly as serious about going to the gym these past two months as I’d planned, so haven’t made much progress there. But at least for the past two weeks, a fire was lit under my proverbial ass, and I’ve been hitting the gym pretty hard on the weekends at least. During the week, I just can’t make myself get up early enough to go before work. And after work, I’m just drained. Excuses, I realize, but it just ain’t happening.
I started fake-baking last weekend, in the attempt to get some kind of base color on my lily white self, otherwise I’m likely to burst into flames at the beach! I’m not tan by any means, but I have at least gotten a tiny bit of color…and still have the rest of this week to work on that and keep going to the gym. I won’t be a bronzed goddess in any way, shape, or form, but I figure there’s nothing like the last minute panic to do as much improvement as I can.
I’m doing laundry and (re)assessing my wardrobe options. I’ve been shopping like a fiend lately, mostly trying to find some shorts that I like. Yeah, the shorts I own don’t fit right now. Did I mention that part about being the heaviest I’ve ever been? Ugh. Depression does as much damage outwardly as it does inwardly. But yeah, I think I’ve got most of my clothing together. Just need to do more planning of outfits to figure out what goes with what and, of course, to make sure I have enough day/night outfits, shoes, etc. I figure later this week I’ll actually attempt to start loading the suitcase.
And with that, time to get up and get some stuff done around the house before I head to the gym and to tan.
I haven’t exactly been sticking with my latest attempt at WeightWatchers. But now that my vacation is over and summer is right around the corner, it’s time to jump back on the bandwagon. I don’t know why I’m having such a hard time getting back into this…I did so well with it before. Maybe that’s the problem. I’m still beating myself up over gaining the weight back. I’ve got to stop doing that and just move forward.
I’m convinced I can do this without spending the money (and finding the time) to go to the weekly meetings. So, here’s this week’s numbers:
Current Weight: 186.8
Body Fat Percentage: 39.0
Water Weight: 44.5%
Pounds to lose to reach goal: 38.8
That’s not too terrible considering my last “official” weigh in was at the beginning of March and I’ve only gained a pound since then. So I haven’t lost too much ground, but still have a way to go. I just need to stop looking too far down the road and just focus on making it one week at a time.
Current Weight: 184.4
Body Fat Percentage: 38.7
Water Weight: 44.7%
Pounds to lose to reach goal: 36.4
Yay for progress! Although, being forced to skip a few meals helped, I’m sure. In the long run, that will hurt me. Must. Stop. Doing. That.
A small gain (0.06), but not too bad, considering I had such a great loss last week.
Current Weight: 188
Body Fat Percentage: 39.1
Water Weight: 44.4%
Pounds to lose to reach goal: 40
I’m not complaining at all. Time to kick up the activity levels though. With the cold weather returning this weekend, my walking plans may fall by the wayside. Maybe I’ll break out my Billy Blanks dvds instead.
I weighed a little bit early today because I don’t want to wait 2 more hours to get something to eat. And eating right before weighing is never a bright idea. The good news is, I’m not in the obese BMI range anymore and I’ve lost 4.6 pounds! The bad news? I had to skip lunch and my body fat and water weight percentages went up. And “the menstrual cycle can cause temporary weight gains and losses.”
Current Weight: 187.4
Body Fat Percentage: 39.1
Water Weight: 44.5%
Pounds to lose to reach goal: 39.4
All in all, not a bad week though. I know I was eating a lot better and drinking more water. Steps in the right direction. Yay.
If you thought my Tanita scale was bad, wait until you see the bad boy I just bought. I figured if I’m going to get serious (again) about getting back on track with Weight Watchers and really taking accountability for things, I need a scale that tells me the brutally honest truth. So I ordered this:
Since, I’m using a new scale, there is probably some variance between my previous weigh-ins and today’s. I’m not worrying about that. From now on, this thing will tell me my weight, my pounds of body fat, my percentage of body fat, my water weight, my BMI, pounds lost since last weigh-in, pounds lost overall, and pounds to go to reach my goal weight. It even has little progress charts for each so I can see a visual representation of how I’m doing.
I’m pretty excited about it. And hey, anything that gets me excited about improving my health is alright in my book. So, on to this week’s weigh-in:
Current Weight: 191.8
Body Fat Percentage: 38.3 (women age 18-39 should be between 21-32%)
Water Weight: 45% (women should be between 50-55%)
BMI: 30.1 (over 30 is considered obese!)
Pounds to lose to reach goal: 43.8
How’s that for telling it like it is?!
Ok, this is just pathetic. But the only way I’m going to straighten myself out is to be honest. So fine. Here goes….
This week: 194
Lovely, huh? Granted, I had a late lunch, so that played a role. But not that much of one.
I find, with my weight loss, my job, my social life, pretty much everything these days, I have absolutely zero motivation. I feel completely overwhelmed. By everything. I’m in a funk and I know it. They come and go…story of my life. I just need to stop letting it overpower everything else. Especially the things I NEED to do (work) and WANT to do (lose weight). So excuse me while I muddle my way through this.
Honestly, I’m not always so down and out. Lately though, I realize I have been. Dr Honeydew and I had a talk about it last night. I’m lonely….I can admit that. I’ve had plenty of time to enjoy being single and little miss independent. And I do enjoy it a lot of the time.
Some days (or weeks, whatever) I can’t help but miss having someone to come home to and wake up with. Somebody to share things with. I am also painfully aware that, by never leaving the house, the odds of me finding someone are pretty slim. I just have this whole self-esteem crap to work through. And a big (HUGE) part of that is being happy with myself. For the most part, I am. I’m good at my job. I’m a good friend. I’m open-minded. I don’t judge (or I atleast try very hard not to). But I am NOT happy with the (regained) excess weight. And it carries over into every other part of my life.
The old me had sex in public places. Mouthed off to complete strangers. Said whatever was on my mind. Flirted with (and kissed) random men (and women) on a dare. Oozed confidence. I was in plays, in speech competitions. I was a star volleyball player, a cheerleader even. I am NOT this timid, paranoid, scared creature I’ve become (off and on) over the last few years. I want to break out of this damned shell once and for all. And then smash it into a billion pieces so I can never crawl back into it.
I don’t think I’ve ever really made any New Year’s resolutions before. So why not try something different and actually decide on a few goals for this year? Here we go…
- Reach my goal weight. I’ve wavered on my new beginning with WW the past few weeks. So starting now, it’s back on plan and making a genuine effort to learn to eat properly again. It’s not a diet, it’s a LIFESTYLE CHANGE! That’s the only way I’ll lose it and keep it off. And I have every intention of doing just that.
- Money matters. If I don’t have it, don’t spend it. Yes, that means put the damn credit card away. I’ve been caught in a viscious cycle of sending every spare dime to my debt, but then I’m always broke so I use the card. Which means, I’m getting nowhere. So this week, I will re-create a NEW budget that I can honestly live within while still making substantial payments towards my debt.
- Stop procrastinating so much at work. If I would start being a little more proactive, I should be able to put an end to the long hours atleast some of the time.
- Stop sleeping on the damn couch. I think that is one of the key causes of my sleep issues.
- Stop being such a wimp and make a genuine effort to start dating again. And by dating, I do not mean the “friends with benefits” situations I’ve gotten into in the past year or so.
Ok. I think that’s plenty. And realistic. Good luck to everyone else on theirs. Let’s have a kickass year!
Forgot to post it last night.
Last week’s weight: 190
This week’s weight: 189
Frankly, I am overjoyed by this. I fully expected to have a gain this week. All last week, when I was sick, I was snacking constantly because it helped scratch my throat. And the anitibiotics I was on made me nauseous, so I kept eating crackers and soup (and occasionally a few bites of ice cream) to help settle my stomach. I didn’t journal my food at all, but tried to be aware of my points…even though I know I went over a few days. So after all that, to still lose a pound, GO ME!
We have an HR end-of-year function this afternoon, but no meal this year. Just snacks. At some lame game place. Sorry, I’m being negative, but to celebrate our year, I want to be entertained. Not go bowling or play laser tag.
Next week is our department end-of-year celebration. We’re going to spend the day at the Dallas World Aquarium and have a catered lunch. I’m excited for that one. It will be nice to have a calm, relaxing day on the boss’s dollar.
I’m going to the Stars game tonight, so yay for that. And to a season ticket holder event in the morning to pick up my free jersey (double yay) and meet the players and get autographs and such (triple yay), which means I will get to see my Darling Mikey again (I just blacked out).
I’m late posting this. It’s been a long week and a short weekend. But I did weigh on Thursday. The result? No loss (boo). But, no gain either (yay). So I’m still sitting at 193. I was a little more than bummed about this initially, but then I went back and reviewed my WW journal for the week.
What I did right:
- Stayed within my point range
- Earned a few more activity points than last week
- Journaled EVERY thing I ate
What I could’ve done better:
- I didn’t consistently get my 3 milk/dairy in each day
- Didn’t drink enough water
- Drank too much coffee
- I didn’t always have my 5 fruits/veggies
So essentially, I wasn’t doing all that I was supposed to do. And I know from my prior WW experience that not getting my water in makes a difference. Add to that the other things and, well, I’m glad that atleast I didn’t have a gain.
This week I promise to do better. Considering the alcohol I had this weekend, I’ve already used up the majority of my flex points for the week. So I don’t have much wiggle room and will have to make every point count. And I really need to start consistently earning activity points. If the weather cooperates, this week I’m going to start walk around the building where I work on my lunch breaks. It’s not much, but it’s a step in the right direction.
Here’s to a better week #3!
Starting Weight: 198
Current Weight: 193
Woohoo! That’s a 5-pound loss. Not too bad for a first week. If only I could lose like that every week. After the 2nd or 3rd week, weight loss should be no more than 1-2 pounds a week. When I did this before, 1.6 seemed to be my magic number. We’ll see what happens this time around.
Here’s the really scary number. According to my Tanita Scale that measures body fat as well, I’m sitting at a whopping 42%. Yikes. Over 32% is considered obese. I really am a lardass. That’s horrifying.
OLD Blog Comments:
Laura – Nov 09, 05: Oh my. Things to NEVER buy… a Tanita Scale!!
Nilla – Nov 04, 05: Yay! Soon your pants will fall off…. one way or the other.
Renee – Nov 03, 05: Way to go girl!!
Some highlights, taken from the November issue of Allure.
31: Percentage of Americans who were trying to lose weight in 1951
58: Percentage of Americans who were trying to lose weight in 2002
$6 billion: Amount Americans spent on fast food in 1970
$110 billion: Amount Americans spent on fast food in 2000
15: Average number of pound a soda drinker can lose in a year by cutting out one can every day
23: Percentage of American adults who consume five servings of fruits and vegetables a day
19.8: Percentage of American adults who think they are obese
30.5: Percentage of American adults who are actually obese according to the medical definition
It’s amazing how fat and unhealthy we have become in the past few decades. And I’m not talking about those stupid, skinny bitches that whine, “I’m sooo fat,” only so one of their groupies will fervently contradict them, “Oh my god, you are sooo not. Like seriously. Shut up.”
To those people: Seriously. SHUT UP. To the rest of us, we really do need to wake up, get off our asses, and stop eating like there is no tomorrow. If we keep going the way we have been, our tomorrows are numbered. And we’ll be stuck wearing unflattering clothing.
I can get on a soapbox about being a healthy weight. Just don’t talk to me about smoking…
I can only tackle one vice at a time, thank you very much.
I went and got produce (and a TON of it at that) and other groceries I couldn’t get yesterday. So I’ve got lots of good healthy food around and plenty of no-to-low point foods to grab when I get the munchies. I’m doing ok so far. Not great, but ok. Having a hard time drinking enough water and eating enough fruits and veggies, but now that I’m all stocked up, that part should be easier.
I cooked myself dinner last night. I had plenty of points left for that meal, so took the opportunity to use some of my higher point food (I’m not going to just throw it out, you know!). I get 24 points a day (plus the flex ones if needed), and my dinner used of half of them. I made fettucine with some yummy sauce, mushrooms, artichokes, and turkey sausage. I made sure to measure the sauce so that I only got one serving of it, which was 1/2 a cup. That’s how I could really get into trouble…by not keeping an eye on portions. You get so used to the monster-sized stuff you get at restaurants and fast food places that a “normal” serving looks small. But it was plenty. And yummy.
I was going to have another serving of it for tonight’s dinner, but reeeally wanted that Aunt Jemima Griddlecake (9 points!) for breakfast this morning. So I adjusted and had a lighter dinner tonight. That is one of the things I love most about Weight Watchers. You aren’t restricted from eating ANYTHING. You just have to be responsible about it. I like to think of my points being like dollars. I have 24 dollars to spend today. If I spend 9 of them for breakfast, then I only have 15 left for the rest of the day. And I really wanted that griddlecake. So I spent the points on it. And had lots of no point (steamed broccoli for example) fillers throughout the day. It’s all about budgeting.
The best lesson for me to (re)learn is that this is NOT a diet. It’s a lifestyle change. If I want to be successful, that’s the most important thing to remember. It’s not something you do until you get to the weight you want and then stop. I stopped….gradually. And gained it all back. I REFUSE to make the same mistake again.
Ok, now I’m off to watch my Stars play in Phoenix on tv. If this game doesn’t go better than last night’s, I’m going to scream. But quietly, because my head hurts. Hey Laura, I haven’t had any caffeine yet today! Not even on purpose. I love Diet Root Beer!
Comments from old blog:
Nilla – Oct 30, 05: Hmmm. I saw on CNN about two months ago that aspartame (which is in that diet stuff) causes symptoms that are like Multiple Sclerosis. I also think Diet tastes like poo.
Laura – Oct 30, 05: Diet Root Beer *IS* good. I LOVES me some Coke Zero, though!!! Glad you’re on stocked up and “on your way!” You’re so right about “budgeting.” It’s nice to be able to have ANYTHING. A snickers bar, a tortilla, mashed potatoes, whatever. You’ve just gotta cut back elsewhere!
Over 2 years ago, I lost 50 pounds with Weight Watchers and was within 15 pounds of my goal weight. I started slacking off a little when I started house-hunting. But I managed to maintain a weight of 160, give or take a few pounds. Eventually I found and bought a house that needed a lot of work. It didn’t take long for me to rediscover all of the worst eating habits I could possibly have. Skipping breakfast. Eating fast food. All the time. (Before, I’d maybe treat myself to a good cheeseburger or some Taco Bell about once a week at most.). Tons of coffee and Diet Dr Pepper. Lots of alcohol. No water. No exercise.
So now, after all of that hard work, I find myself right back (well, within a few pounds) where I started. I’ve been saying, for atleast 5 months now, while climbing the scale, that I needed to get myself back under control. I’m tired of being fat. I’m tired of my clothes, which were falling off me a year and ago, being so tight I can barely breathe. I’m tired of feeling like crap about myself, physically. And I’m tired of being tired. So enough with the bitching and moaning already!
Thanks to a real pal who’s agreed to be my WW buddy, we’re going to do this. We’re going to keep each other in check and encourage each other and lose our weight and look FABULOUS and HOT and SEXY and stuff.
I’m a few days behind in starting. I tried to atleast be aware of what I was eating yesterday and today. And drink more water. Not as much as I should, but atleast a conscious effort to drink more. So my official start date back on the path of a healthy lifestyle begins tomorrow. Got to go buy some groceries so I can start bringing my lunch to work again and cooking again. NO MORE FAST FOOD!
To keep myself honest, I’ll post my weight here each week. I’ll weigh myself on the same day, same time each week. Wearing the same clothes (shorts and a tshirt) and no shoes. And I’ll post it. Here. For everyone to see.
My current weight, my starting weight, as of right now: 198 pounds
My goal weight: 148
That’s 50 pounds of excess flab that has GOT to go. When I set my goal weight in WW way back when, I wanted to do 140, but they told me to get to 150 first and see how it felt. Right now, it sounds fantastic! And I WILL get there.
One day at a time. One pound at a time.