So many things have happened in the past month, even the past year, but none of them will ever come close to the devastating loss of my best friend. I know I need to write about it, to preserve my own memories, and perhaps as a way to help exorcise some of this pain.
I’m just not ready to do that yet. I have entirely too much anger in me right now….which turns into guilt, which turns into overwhelming sadness, which turns into anger again.
Last night, what started out as a fun-filled, pool-shooting, shot-drinking night out to celebrate the end of the audit at work, and to catch up with one of my very best friends, turned into complete and utter debauchery. As disgusted as I am with myself over my own transgressions, what I am most upset about is that I allowed my best girl to get caught up in it. For that, I don’t know if I can forgive myself.
In all the years I’ve lived in the Dallas area, yesterday was my first trip to Southlake. I met my friend, Red, there for lunch at the Cheesecake Factory. We’ve both been in a funk and needed to get out of the house, but weren’t up for a full-swing social event with the whole gang. So, it being daylight, I was brave enough to venture down the road less travelled.
The restaurant is located in the Southlake Town Square, which is a nice little area of shops all laid out like a little town of its own, back when streets were lined with shops instead of the giant malls and shopping centers we’re used to today. Not exactly square though, don’t let the name deceive you. It’s similar to what they have recently built in Garland at the Firewheel Town Center. It’s a nice concept, but with the year-round Texas heat, it’s really only truly enjoyable on a cool day or evening. But it’s great for running into a particular store without having to deal with the crowds or parking at the malls.
After lunch, we walked around for a little while, not really to shop, since neither of us can afford that these days. I had seen the neat red brick Town Hall building when I drove in, and really wanted to get some photos of it, so we ended up walking there. It was super bright, mid-afternoon sun…not the ideal time for photos, but I was there and I had my camera, so I had to at least give it a shot.
Definitely not a good time for photos with all that harsh light, but worth a return visit sometime in the evening light….when it isn’t so freaking hot outside, too!
It was good to get out of the house and out of hermit mode for a few hours. Red and I are going to have to force each other to do that until this latest funk passes for both of us.
Brought to you by Random and Odd
This week’s assignment:
Ok. I tried not to use all Christmas stuff, so here’s what I came up with.
Something Red: This cute little case that had some yummy products from philosophy
Something Green: I was tempted to use my Grinch slippers, but decided against it. Instead, here is one of the few plants in my house that I have not yet managed to kill. It’s kind of dusty looking, huh? I’d wipe it down, but you know the saying…if it ain’t dead, don’t mess with it.
Something you decorate: I could take pictures of my whole house, since that is in a constant state of redecorating. But I’d rather wait until I’ve replaced some old furniture before I do that. So instead, here is the table in my entryway. I try to change it up to match whatever season it is currently. Up until a few weeks ago, it was dressed up for hockey season, but I begrudgingly changed it for the holidays.
So…did you play?
Today was an odd mix.
It was a good day because my boss gave me 2 lower level tickets to a Stars game in March. And thanked me for doing such a great job this year. Said I really took on the challenge of my new role and ran with it.
It was a bad day because my boss told us he has accepted another position in the department, effective January 1. And one of my coworkers will be taking over as manager of our team.
It was a good day because, when I got home tonight, I had a FedEx package from Red. Early birthday present? What is this? When I opened it and saw what it was, I laughed so hard I cried. I guess my tantrum-like stomping of my light up heels and insistence on what I was NOT supposed to be at the Halloween party made a lasting impression.
It was a (very cool) plaque from Target. With the following design on it.
Really, I don’t. It’s late. I should be asleep. Besides, I sound like one of those mechanical voicebox things so you really don’t want me to say anything.
I thought I was feeling better last Thursday. So I met Mexigoalie, Nala, and Cat at Uncle Julio’s for Nala’s birthday on Friday afternoon. Then went to the Stars game with Red (hey, I paid $50 for that ticket to sit in the lower bowl and I wasn’t about to let some silly illness make that money go to waste!). All week I had been able to last, at most, 4 hours before curling up and sleeping for an hour or two. The stupid decongestent my doctor gave me makes me sooo drowsy. So by the time I got ready, drove to the restaurant, ate, and we headed to the game, I was already a good 3 hours into my semi-alert and awake time.
Midway through the first period, my eyes were tearing up, my throat hurt, and I couldn’t pay attention to the game. That’s right…I could not stay focused on the hockey game. Now you know I felt like shit.
Somehow, by the beginning of the 3rd period, I was feeling a little more human and was able to yell and scream and enjoy the game. Except for the fact that I had essentially no voice. We lost the game, which sucked. And confirmed my superstition that I can not ever sit in a different seat again. From now on, it’s my season ticket seat or bust.
After the game, Red had begged and pleaded with us days in advance to meet up afterwards for post-game adult beverages. So about 12 or so of us hit the Old No 7 for a few. I guess the alcohol numbed my throat so I felt ok, but my voice was getting harder and harder to tolerate.
After staying longer than a sick girl should, I finally headed home around midnight. Decided to stop at Jack in the Box for some coffee. Now keep in mind that I had not uttered a word since I said bye to my friends and left the bar. So it was to my complete surprise, and utter horror, that when I opened my mouth to order at the drive thru, I couldn’t get anything out louder than a whisper. I had to pull around to the window and repeat myself (as if repeating the words in my head that I couldn’t seem to vocalize really did much good) and use various attempts at sign language to order my coffee.
Three days later and I can talk now atleast. But I sound like a complete freak. Like I should be pushing some invisible button on my throat to speak.
I’ve decided to skip going to the game tonight (gasp!) in order to have plenty of time to get into my costume for the Halloween Party tonight. It just made more sense.
I think I’ve mentioned here before that I really enjoy a dirty martini. Reeeally dirty. “Dirty (Filthy) Whore Martini” is usually my exact drink-ordering phrase, in fact. It’s a running joke among some of my friends. So when I saw this dress, I knew what I would be for Halloween.
So, I got the dress back from the lady at work and it fits much better. Still a little more fitted than I would like, but that’s the material it’s made out of…nothing to be done about that now other than go find some control top hose or a girdle or something. I wanted to be able to pull it up to make it a little shorter, too, but because of the way she tapered the insert at the bottom, it just won’t work. That’s ok.
The only downside to that is, one of my ideas for making my costume more dirty whore-ish is wasted now. I was going to wear some fishnet hose with the knees worn out and dirty from…well, you figure it out. But without a shorter dress, it just won’t work. So what else can I do to emphasize the dirty whore part?
I’ve got a couple of trashy wigs to chose from. Probably a little more rockstar than whore, but I’m sure one of them will work. And I’ve got some fake eyelashes with little crystals at the base. And some fishnet handless elbow-length gloves. And I found some coolass hooker nails that are silver with little crystals on the tips. I also have a cool black feather boa with silver in it.
I can’t find the shoes I was planning to wear, so may go look for some cheap ones today. Either that or I’ll just have to wear my platform mary jane heels.
Problem is, according to Red, I’ll match too well. And look more highclass callgirl than dirty whore. So what else can I do to trash it up good?
Heavy makeup, yeah. Thought maybe I could smear my lipstick. But what else?!
OLD BLOG COMMENTS:
Renee Oct 24, 05: Loving that costume! I def wanna see you in it!:)
Nilla Oct 23, 05: Yeah, my first thought was “put it on your head” for the making it trashier part. Like what you’ve got so far. How about a hat? Dunno, you could get a red pillbox and stick the letters “DTH” on it or something else lame I could probably come up with. Or write it on your chest.
Saundra Oct 22, 05: blue eyeshadow… red lipstick… OR you could just make your arms and shoulders look dirty– go for more literal DIRTY Martini instead of DIRTY WHORE…
I saw the costume when I was looking @ some– good choice! 
Have fun!
What a freaking nightmare of a disaster. My Stars got their asses handed to them tonight. It looked to be off to a great start when Mo scored early in the first on a powerplay. Then it all went downhill from there.
Red & I were there in section 222. It’s a shame to have had such great seats to such an awful game.
A division game. Against the Kings. And we lose 7 to freaking 2. I don’t even want to talk about it.
