Tag Archives: profanity

Grocery shopping

I hate it.  So much so that I make it a point to buy all my groceries for a month at a time.  Or longer if I can manage it.  But I was out of everything except toilet paper, so I had to go tonight.  After wandering through the store for a good 40 minutes, I head to the checkout line.  And gee, guess what?  There was ONE lane open and 4 people in front of me.  So I stood there.  And stood there.  And stood there.

Finally I start unloading my basket onto that conveyer belt thing.  The guy, bless his heart, is slower than molasses and picking up one thing at a time, scanning it, and tossing it down to the other end.  I’m already annoyed at having to wait 15 minutes to check out and now this guy is throwing my groceries around.  I get everything unloaded and move over to start filling out my check and get all my coupons ready to give him. 

Meanwhile, this neverending mound of groceries has piled up at the end of the counter.  No one is there to bag them.  This happens more often than not lately and also annoys me greatly.  So I put my stuff down and move to the end of the counter and start bagging the groceries that are now being thrown towards me.  Another 10 minutes or so and he finally has my total ready, so I stop bagging and return to writing the check.  While I’m doing this, he decides to start bagging things.  I finish writing the check and try to hand it to him and he just keeps putting stuff in bags.  And doing it all wrong.  So I leave my check on the counter and go finish bagging. 

I finally get to leave the store.  Hallelujah.  But then I get about 10 steps outside the store, right to the area where cars drive through, and my case of Diet Dr Pepper goes flying off the bottom of the cart (where he had put it along with way too much other stuff, and half hanging off the cart).  So now, I’m pushing a huge cart overflowing with groceries, holding my purse and a case spewing coke out of the bottom, and trying to get out of harm’s way.

I make it to the car, put all the groceries in the trunk, and then open the case to survey the damage.  Maybe it’s just one can.  Yeah, no such luck.  Of the 12, only 4 of them weren’t erupting.  And I am being chastised by the woman getting out of the car next to me to please watch my language as she has her children with her.  Biting.  My.  Tongue.

I leave the coke mess in the cart and leave the cart next to my car and get in the car and go home.  If I’d have gone back in the store to complain at that point, I likely would’ve been arrested.

I think I’ve earned the drink I’m about to make myself. 

P.S.  Oh my gosh.  Peanut Butter Cookie Crisp cereal, where have you been all my life?