Tag Archives: Friends

With friends like these, who needs enemies?

Best Friends ForeverBest Friends Forever by Jennifer Weiner

My Review:  1 of 5 stars

The title for this book is misleading. It should have been called “The Only Friend I Ever Had Treats Me Like Sh*t But I’ll Do Anything For Her Because She is My Only Friend.”  Seriously.

It’s a story we’ve seen time and time again. Two girls become close friends at a young age. As they grow older, one girl, Valerie, goes down the “popular” road while the other, Addie, binge eats and gets made fun of mercilessly.

Then, here is where Valerie’s true colors start to shine through: She tells Addie not let the teasing get to her and that she should just try harder. Um….kids spray-painted her driveway with the words, “fat whore.” Sure, just keep on smiling, Addie. Valerie ditches Addie for her cheerleader friends whenever she gets the chance, and, when she invites Addie to a big party their senior year, she admits that it’s because she knew her mom would let her go if she was with Addie.

When I discovered the tragic incident from their senior year that was alluded to for the first hundred or so pages, I couldn’t have liked Valerie less. Addie speaks up to defend her and basically becomes the laughing stock of the school because, her best friend denounced what she was saying as lies and jealousy.

All of this is told in flashback as the story jumps from present day to Addie and Valerie’s past. In the present, Addie hasn’t seen or heard from Valerie in 15 years. The night of their high school reunion, Valerie gets herself into big trouble and ends up knocking on Addie’s door asking for help.

Addie, even though she’s managed to lose a ton of weight, apparently has still not grown a backbone because the rest of the story, she lets Valerie convince her to run from the law, half rob a bank, and lead her around by the nose (all on Addie’s dime). Up until recently, Addie has lived like a friendless hermit, sustaining herself with online purchases that keep her from having to leave the house.

There’s much more to the story, tragedies galore, a hint of romance, and more cliches then you can shake a stick at. If this is what Addie, or the author, thinks best friends are made of, I feel sorry for the both of them.

There are no words…

Today I found out that one of my very best friends, Red, died of an overdose while in Italy.  Of what, I don’t yet know.  I got the news via a rushed text message from her (estranged) husband who was about to board a plane to go bring her home.  I was able to talk to him for less than two minutes before he had to get off the phone.  I don’t know all the details, only that I refuse to believe this was intentional. 

She was in Italy, on her dream vacation, as a way to cope with spending her first holiday seperated from her son.  She had been posting happy updates to facebook chronicling her adventures in Tuscany and then Florence. 

And now she’s gone??  I can’t fucking believe it.

I am in shock.  I am confused.  I am pissed.  And I am heartbroken. 

I keep hoping and praying that her husband will call me when he gets there to tell me that it was all a big misunderstanding and that she is fine.  I don’t want this to be true.

Finding out what you don’t want to know

Is it better to know or not know?

In this case, I guess it is better to know so I can just stop it and move on.  I have had a massive crush on my friend, Curly, for years.  Early in our friendship, he made a comment about never dating a smoker, so I immediatey wrote off any chance of anything ever growing out of that friendship.  But it didn’t keep me from thinking he was an amazing guy, who shared a lot of the same values as me.  And maybe because he’s one of the few, seemingly decent, single guys I know, I fixated on him.  I absolutely adore him.  To the point that, tonight, at a bar to see one of his friends play in a cover band, a friend of mine decided to explore the topic with him.

Apparently we get along and have a lot in common, but it’s stricly platonic.  It stings a little, but at least I can finally just let it go.

Shelter from the Storm

Last Sunday, my high school gal pal, Barbie, her mother and grandmother, and 4 dogs arrived at my humble abode seeking shelter from big bad Ike.  Since my parents and other family members impacted by the storm were already tucked away safely at Dilbert’s, I was happy to be able to provide Barbie and company a place to stay.

It is now almost a week later.  They are still without power in Pinewood, but rumor has it sometime in the next day or two it should be back on.  I know they are anxious to get home.  I am mostly enjoying them being here, but I have to admit, as someone who lives by herself, it has been taxing on my sanity.  I’m a creature of habit and my normal routines have gone out the window.  Nothing compared to what they are going through though, so I am grateful to be in a position to help out in some way.

Her mom and 3 aunts all had beach houses at Crystal Beach.  yes, I said HAD.  All 4 of them are now GONE.  Completely disintegrated and washed away to parts yet unknown.  All that remains, from what we’ve been able to see in videos and online photos, is the concrete slabs. 

It’s so sad to see the massive destruction there and in Galveston.  Growing up, I (mis)spent a lot of my fun-filled youth cruising the beach and window shopping on the Strand. 

Anyway, just had a few quick minutes to myself and wanted to blog a bit while I was thinking of it.

I must be in a funk…

because I just am really not liking people in general right now.  Even some of my friends are grinding on my nerves.  I don’t know what my problem is.  I think I’m drowning in insecurities or something. 

I mentioned my crush in my last post.  Something I’ve had for awhile, with someone I’ve known for awhile (since 2002-ish) but wouldn’t allow to surface previously because of a conversation once where he indicated he didn’t want kids and wouldn’t date a smoker.  So I wrote him off immediately, but deep down, was still seriously digging him.  To make this easier, from now on I will just refer to him as Crush (although he has been mentioned previously in this blog under a different pseudonym).

One of my friends that I met a couple of years ago (early 2005?) met him and decided she liked him.  For current purposes, I will refer to her as Diva (although she has also been mentioned here previously as a different name).  Me, trying to be a good friend, and because I knew Crush well, decided to just ask him point blank if he was interested in her.  So I’d know whether or not to encourage her.  He quite quickly and emphatically responded NO.  So I tried to subtly steer her away from him.

In her narcissim, and because she asked him, she has concluded that he only likes skinny blondes with big boobs (while she is skinny, she’s brunette and smaller-chested).  I guess his sarcasm was lost on her.  But she reminds us all, including Crush, of this anytime the opportunity arises.  And yet, at any gathering he shows up for, she still flirts with him.  Still.

This past weekend, I hosted a game night at my house and Crush came.  Diva showed up later as well.  We were about to play a game.  I was sitting next to Crush on the couch and Diva was across the table from us and she immediately exclaimed that she and Crush should be partners.  I told her partners had to sit next to each other for this game because we had to share cards.  “Oh, ok.” was her deflated response.

As the night wore on and games changed and people shifted about, I had gone into the kitchen for something and the second I was up, she pounced on the couch next to Crush.  The next thing I know she’s re-enacting a scene on a recent flight where some lady was laying on the guy next to her.  Then she stretched out on the couch and had her feet up near Crush’s lap.

I don’t know why, but it absolutely enraged me.  Of course, I have never told her about my feelings for Crush.  Because I figure she would only tell me how far I was from his type, since she thinks she has him pegged so well.  I never told her about my conversation with him and his lack of interest in her.  I just let her reach her own conclusion,  but damn.  Give it up already.  Fuck.

I just can’t throw myself at someone like that.  Not that she’s really throwing herself at him, but it comes across that way to me.  Well, actually a couple of other people at the party mentioned it later, but anyway.  Those few people also know about my feelings, so they are just being supportive.  lol

The thing is, I love Diva.   I accept that she is flirty and I love her for it most days.  It’s just because it is Crush that she always focuses on when he is around…it drives me crazy.

Plus, I just feel so defeated.  I can’t compete with skinny people.  I can’t compete with non-smokers.  I can’t compete with flirty people.  It’s just not me.  Granted, Crush and I have been flirty with each other for years, but on a completely different, much more subtle level.  Winks here and there, odd smirks across the room, exchanged glances.  Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking on my part.  I don’t think so though.  But I’ve always accepted it more as a part of our friendship, not interest on his part.

Ugh.  I don’t know.  I think I just need to focus on getting myself back to a place where I’m happy with myself.  Then maybe good things will follow.

I suck at this!

So here is the question I pose to you:

Say you’ve been friends with this guy for several years and have always liked and respected him.  Not to mention he cracks you up.  He helped you move and paint your house…And NOW, years later, you find yourself with a serious crush on him.  WTF do you do?!

The thing is, I don’t see this person very often, and much less often than in previous years.  I always kind of thought he was cute, but just thought he was too much older and set in his ways for me.  But now, 4-years later, the age gap doesn’t seem as big.  And his dry sense of humor is like spanish fly to me.  And hell, I’ve probably become more of a homebody than he is in that time.

I’ve confessed to only a very small handful of people and more than half of them has replied, “But HE has always had a crush on you!!!”  Honestly, I think they are just saying that to give me some guts to explore this possibility.  Plus, I was almost 60 lbs lighter then.  While I’ve joined a gym in an effort to correct that, I haven’t been going anything remotely like “regularly.”

Add to that the fact that I had one of my nervous breakdown crying fits with him back when I was in the deepest throes of my depression.  And I boohooed to him over Mazzy.  Oh, and there’s the time I blurted out, while drinking, about the time he and XYZ got it on.  Did I mention that he was sitting right beside me at the time and apparently that wasn’t common knowledge?

I am so clueless.  And doomed to remain single at this rate.

Disillusioned

The past few weeks have really given me a new perspective on friendships and relationships.  I’m not a confrontational person.  I avoid it whenever possible in favor of trying to be the peacemaker.  And, apparently, I expect too much from people, particularly those I call friends.

I never expected a friend to take advantage of me and use my name in a public forum to give himself some sort of credibility.  And ultimately, include my name in a lie.  A partial truth does not make it true.  That friendship is sadly over.  I have been devastated by it, but finally came to accept that that is not a friendship I’m willing to fight to keep.  Especially when one side cannot accept any responsibility and only point fingers elsewhere.

I never expected friends to so harshly criticize another one of my friends TO me.  Over and over.  You don’t have to have the same friends as me, that’s fine.  But to take every opportunity to talk badly about someone that you KNOW I am friends with, and then to act all indignant when I am “overly-defensive” about it…I just don’t get that.  If it was you people were badmouthing, you’d certainly expect me to defend you.  And I have.

Guess what?  I don’t like some of your friends either, but I’d never try to point out all their faults to you because I respect our friendship.  And because it’s not my business.  This one has been eating away at me for 2 days, can you tell? 

 See, when in the moment, I rarely react.  I don’t cause a scene.  I bite my tongue.  I try to keep the peace.  Then it festers inside me and I want to just explode at that person.  But the rational side of me says, don’t do that…you’ll say something you’ll regret.  So in the end, I feel like a doormat.  And THAT pisses me off even more.

And then to top it all off, I feel like I am surrounded by infidelity lately.  Real or imagined.  Attempted or acted upon.  Online or in person.  I’m just sickened by all of it.  And so disappointed. 

While I try not to judge, it is yet another thing that is forcing me to re-examine some of my friendships.  In one scenario, I want to beat the offending party to a pulp, because that friend broke my (closer) friend’s heart.  And yet, in another, where my friend is the offender, I want be there for them.  And in a third, I want to cease interactions with both parties.  Is it the difference in the “level” of indiscretion that makes me react differently?  Is it the length of my friendship with them that effects my feelings towards it?  Am I a hypocrite?  What is wrong with people?!?!

Again, perhaps my expectations in all relationships are too high.  And perhaps this is why I haven’t found someone to share my own life with.  And perhaps I never will.  And that depresses me.

I have a confession to make.

So, several weeks ago, I signed up on facebook to aid in my checking-up-on-the-kiddos routine.  Knowing that facebook was supposed to be something like myspace, I figured I’d check there, too, to find out what new thing I should want to strangle my niece and nephews over.  Only you have to be registered to search for people.

So I signed up, only to find out that my young family members don’t seem to be on there…at least not that I’ve been able to discover thus far.  However, a number of my friends are and had been trying to get me on there for awhile, so in came the deluge of friend requests from them, which I accepted.

Since that time, I have spent time EVERY DAY on that blasted site.  There is entirely too much to do on there.  None of it worthwhile or valuable or redeemable.  I can buy and sell my friends, take care of my computer-animated puppy, send plants to friends while saving the rainforests, be a mob boss, play word games and Texas Hold ‘Em, give drinks and teddy bears and water globes and hatching eggs to friends….it’s insane.  And I love it.

Hi.  My name is Daisy-Head and I am a facebook addict.

So much to do, so little time!

A week from tomorrow, I leave for my much-needed, well-deserved vacation to Cozumel.  It was supposed to be a girls’ trip, but everyone but me and Red wimped out.  Apparently everyone else is afraid to go with us because we are just “party party party.”  Whatever. 

Red and V went to Los Cabos last year (I couldn’t go because they accidentally scheduled it on top of a work conference I had to attend).  Red and V had never really hung out or spent time together one on one, so they got to know each other a little better I suppose.  V is very laid-back most of the time, and was looking forward to carefree days, lounging by the pool or on the beach.  Red, who had been through some rough stuff with her husband recently, was in full let-her-hair-down-and-live-it-up mode.  So needless to say, there were some conflicts.  Nothing major, and they both had fun, but I guess some residual comments have been made.

Either way, Red and I are going to have a blast.  I just know it!  I’m all for lounging with a book and a pina colada on the beach, sight-seeing, and nights out partying.  We’ve got 5 days, so time for a little of everything.  And since Red and I DO hang out and DO know each other pretty damned well, I don’t think we’ll have any problems telling the other one when we’ve had enough of something.

The downside, Red is about 5 foot 4 inches tall, with a great figure.  Me, I’m 5 foot 7, and a good 70 pounds heavier right now…the heaviest I’ve ever been in my life.  We’re going to look like Mutt & Jeff.  I didn’t get nearly as serious about going to the gym these past two months as I’d planned, so haven’t made much progress there.  But at least for the past two weeks, a fire was lit under my proverbial ass, and I’ve been hitting the gym pretty hard on the weekends at least.  During the week, I just can’t make myself get up early enough to go before work.  And after work, I’m just drained.  Excuses, I realize, but it just ain’t happening. 

I started fake-baking last weekend, in the attempt to get some kind of base color on my lily white self, otherwise I’m likely to burst into flames at the beach!   I’m not tan by any means, but I have at least gotten a tiny bit of color…and still have the rest of this week to work on that and keep going to the gym.  I won’t be a bronzed goddess in any way, shape, or form, but I figure there’s nothing like the last minute panic to do as much improvement as I can.  :)

I’m doing laundry and (re)assessing my wardrobe options.  I’ve been shopping like a fiend lately, mostly trying to find some shorts that I like.  Yeah, the shorts I own don’t fit right now.  Did I mention that part about being the heaviest I’ve ever been?  Ugh.  Depression does as much damage outwardly as it does inwardly.  But yeah, I think I’ve got most of my clothing together.  Just need to do more planning of outfits to figure out what goes with what and, of course, to make sure I have enough day/night outfits, shoes, etc.  I figure later this week I’ll actually attempt to start loading the suitcase.

And with that, time to get up and get some stuff done around the house before I head to the gym and to tan.

Happy Sunday!

I ran. I ran so far away.

Well happy hour was loads of fun!  Of course, any time you involve these people, fruity beverages, and Scene It, it’s impossible to not have fun.  I figured people would start to leave well before midnight.  As it turned out, we were ordering pizza around that time!  Wheeeee!  And KC left enough Smirnoff in my fridge for TWO more happy hours. 

I managed to make it up in time for Miss Hut’s shower this morning, even with the feelings of exhaustion and malaise.  But despite my best efforts, I still ended up being late because I got the directions all screwed up.  Averaging 5-6 hours of sleep a night for a few weeks will do that to you.  That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it!  The shower was really nice and Miss Hut was fun to watch opening her gifts.  She was so excited about everything!

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I felt a little “outside” the group.  Maybe it’s because I haven’t been around much lately.  Or maybe I’m just making myself feel that way.  Self-ostracizing or something.  A lot of the girls who weren’t really that close before seem to have paired off and become the best of friends now.  Yay for them, I guess.  It’s just weird to see how much things have changed in a matter of a month.  Or maybe they haven’t really changed at all and it’s just something you can only see once you’ve been distanced from it.  I’m not making any sense.  Nevermind.

I stopped by Wolf Camera on my way home to, finally, drop off some film from two of the lomolitos and two regular rolls.  I don’t even know what all is going to be on them since they got shot over the course of a couple of months.  I know the rest of the BotB pictures are on some of them.

While I was there, I had to wander over to visit my baby, the Nikon D70S.  Since I wasn’t feeling too well, I was just going to look at it longingly for a minute or two (that has become my ritual) and then head home.  Yet, before I was even aware of what I was doing and could stop myself, there I was, standing at the counter with no other customers in sight, and I ended up asking the sales guy if I could take a look at it.

I should really stop tormenting myself.  I try to not to have physical contact with the camera very often because I know the temptation is more than I can bear.  I WANT THAT CAMERA!!!  This was, purposefully, only the 2nd time I’ve held an untethered D70 in my hands.  And it was also the closest I’ve come to taking it home with me.  Thankfully, another customer had some questions, so I told the sales guy, who has acommodated my D70 lust and no-touching rule a few times before,  he could go help them and let me play with the camera for abit (and drool over it). 

While checking out the various program modes, testing the autofocus vs manual, figuring out the digital controls for aperture, shutter speed, even ISO, and generally just checking this badboy out, I had convinced myself to finally go ahead buy it since they were offering 10 months no interest.   I was all giddy with excitement!  Then somehow, clearer thoughts prevailed and I forced myself to set the camera down and do some realistic thinking.  Rough calculations in my head indicated, on a 10-month financing deal, I’d have to shell out about $130 a month to pay it off. 

My bubble burst.  I went from feeling elated to depressed in the span of about 5 minutes.  I don’t have an extra hundred bucks a month right now.  And I won’t any time soon.  Sigh.  When I go back Monday to pick up my film, I will not even glance in the direction of the cameras.  Not the next time either.  Not until I know I’m ready for it. 

I know one thing to be true:  The next time I stand at a retail counter and allow myself to wrap my hands around the hefty digital goodness that is the D70, I will buy it.  It will be mine.  Oh yes, it will be mine.

My very own Spartans!

Mexigoalie & Rockstar came over around 10 last night to show me his new truck and hangout for awhile. I was kind of against the idea at first as I have been in crazy-work-anitsocial mode lately.  Plus I’d already put my PJs on.  But I relented and I’m glad I did.

It turned into an all-night drunkfest, dress-up, slumberless party.  First they tried out my old cheerleader uniforms, then Mexigoalie did his best Blanche Dubois impression, wearing a full length formal belle of the ball prom dress.  I seriously can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard.  The battery in my digital camera died after about 1 picture, but boy have I got some film to be developed now!!

I didn’t even know how badly I needed that, but it felt great to let loose and laugh and completely forget all the hassles of work for awhile.  You both rock and will forever be my favorite cheerleaders! 

I am feeling every bit my age and then some today.  Oy.  After sleeping until almost 3pm (it was about 6am before we finally crashed), I have done nothing but lay around and watch movies and read.  And I needed that, too.

HELP is a 4-letter word.

And like love, shit, or fuck, you shouldn’t say it unless you really mean it!

For the past several months, people have been saying, in reference to our charity game coming up next week, to me, “If you need any help, let me know,” or “I’d be happy to help.” 

So, realizing that, with work the way it has been, I can’t do it all by myself, what did I do?  I asked for help.  I told people what they could do to help.  We came up with ideas to bring in more money and various people volunteered to do various things in relation to that.  So meanwhile, I worked on other things that needed to be done for both the event and my job.

Apparently, when people say such things, what they really mean is, “Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.  And if it is something I want to do, I will.  Otherwise, I’ll just keep asking you to let me know if you need any help.”

What the fuck good does it do to have planning meetings and the like if none of the things talked about ever get done?  If you can’t do it, or have no plans to, DON’T SAY YOU WILL!

This is why I have a problem delegating, both in my personal and professional life.  It’s far easier to know ahead of time that I need to do something and work it into my schedule than to think someone else is taking care of it, only to find out at the last minute that I’m still going to have to do it!  

I’m overly bitchy about this right now because, to top things off, while I was sitting in front of the computer until 3am last night working on stuff for the game, everyone else was at a happy hour that I was not even made unaware of.  I guess they knew I would be busy.  Ugh. 

Sometimes I am tempted to just say screw it and let the whole thing go to shit.  But I’m really proud of this event and want it to continue to be successful.  So I suck it up and do what needs to be done…At the expense of my personal life, my job, and my sanity.

Thankfully some relief is on the way.  Mexigoalie offered to come stay the night and help me with the programs.  We’ve got just over 36 hours to come up with bios and funny ads and such and I’m running out of things to pull out of my ass.  Two others have offered to come over for a little while tomorrow afternoon as well, so I’m grateful for that.

Catching up with DrH & time to go home

Dr H was actually in San Diego the 4th and 5th for a training class, so we had agreed, if our schedules allowed for it, to try and meet up for dinner while we were both there.  Tuesday evening, we decided, based on the suggestion of my brother and a friend of mine, to meet up in the Gas Lamp Quarter.   My sis-in-law was going to drop me off in that area around 4, so she could avoid most of the traffic heading back to her house.  And Dr H was going to give me a call and meet me somewhere after his class, around 5:30.

After looking at the website, I figured this was a good plan because there would be plenty of places for me to walk around and see and take pictures of while waiting on Dr H.  What I did NOT plan on was the downpour that started about 5 minutes after my sis-in-law dropped me off.  Ugh.  I managed to find a store that sold umbrellas atleast, but it was not the carefree downtown wandering I had envisioned.

Dr H’s class ended early, so he was in the area a little before 5pm.  After a few phone calls and miscalculated intersections, we found each other.  Poor thing was pretty soaked by then.  I tried to share my umbrella, but he was having little to none of that.  Men.  Hmmpph.

I was actually pretty excited about seeing him.  None of that first meeting pressure or worries about how to pass the time.  We wandered down to one of the historic houses that supposedly gives tours until 6pm only to find that they had closed early that day.  Dr H got a kick out of that.  His experiences with my “planning” have not been that great so far.  So we made our way back up 5th street and spotted Martini Ranch and decided to go in and have a drink (and get out of the rain). 

We chatted for awhile there and I was genuinely happy to be with him.  Of course, I’m thinking to myself, could I be attracted to this guy?  Did I misjudge things based on the other stuff that was going on?  I don’t know.  He’s cute.  Am I letting his size keep me away?  Does that make me shallow if I am?  Anyway, we had a good time visiting there then decided to go in search of dinner.  I was definitely more “touchy-feely” with him this time. 

The bartender had recommended a place, but when we walked down there (still raining) it looked a little too fancy.  I was in a tshirt, jeans, and tennis shoes.  So we decided to walk some more.  Then we saw Croce’s and the sign for live jazz music got my attention so we stopped to ask when that started.  It was about an hour away, so we looked over a (pricey) menu and decided we’d have dinner there.

We ordered a bottle of wine and some calamari for starters.  Then opted to split an entree (yummy halibut with asparagus and potatoes).  By then the band had started to play.  I don’t know if it was a combination of the live jazz (which doesn’t have quite the overpowering effect on me that blues music does, but still…) and the wine and the rain or what, but it was soooo undeniably “date-like” and I didn’t mind at all.  I went outside to smoke and called my brother to see what the plans were for the next day (I was heading home).  I mentioned that Dr H offered to bring me to the airport and wanted to see what Dilbert thought about that.  His reply was, do you want to do that?  Basically, my call.

Dr H comes out about that time and gives me a nice hug from behind.  We stood there for a few minutes enjoying the music while I finished my smoke.  Then we went back inside and there, sitting on the table, is a cd of the band that’s playing that Dr H had, very sneakily, purchased for me.  Awwww! 

We shared a dessert while I polished off another glass of wine (we’d emptied the bottle by then).  Then we headed to my brother’s.  I was still undecided about Dr H taking me to the airport the next day.  I wasn’t sure if my brother was really ok with it or just saying so.  So we got there and he got to meet Dr H, we looked at some video of the lake house he just bought near Sam Rayburn in Texas, talked a little, then I could tell Dr H needed to get back (he had class again the next morning). 

So Dilbert explains that if he takes me to the airport, he’d be dropping me off way early (around 7:30 for a 10:30 flight) because he has a meeting.  Dr H says he can take me around 8:30 or 9.  I feel bad because I didn’t even get to tell my sis-in-law or nephews bye (they were already asleep….it was almost midnight afterall) but I guess the alcohol made my manners questionable and I gathered up my stuff and headed back towards San Diego with Dr H to his hotel.

And…um…yeah.  I think we got to sleep around 3am. 

So anyway, we got up the next morning and headed to the airport.  It was about 8:20 when he dropped me off.  I ended up getting on an even earlier flight (headed to Albequerque at 9:20) with the idea that I could catch the connecting flight to Dallas there and be home a little earlier.  Oh the joy of flying standby.  Yes, it’s free, but it’s not without a downside.  The downside being creative travel plans.  I made it to Albq with no problem at around noon.  The flight from there to Dallas was supposed to leave around 2, so I wandered the airport and found a smoking lounge, ordered a drink, and took advantage of their free wireless for a bit.

Then that flight ended up being delayed and was pushed back to 3:20.  I was finally able to check in for that one and the odds of me getting on it weren’t looking too good.  Around 3pm, they sent me and another red pass passenger to another gate to catch a flight to Lubbock (WTF?!).  Then from there, we’d definitely be able to get on the “wide open” flight to Dallas.  So that’s what we did.  I got back into Dallas around 7:45pm and then had to wait another 30 minutes for the damn shuttle I reserved to show up.

Home finally a little before 9pm last night.  Yay!  Picked up Mazzy from the PetsHotel today and she’s finally speaking to me again.  She was happy to see me, happy to leave, and then suddenly seemed to remember she was mad at me.  She’s good now though.  The “Pawgress Report” they gave me is cute.  Cheesey, but cute.  Seems like they took good care of my baby atleast.

Recap of the visit

Ok, let’s see how much I can remember.  This will likely be mostly a list of what we did.  I’m hoping by getting all the details down, I’ll be able to comment on the other stuff later.

Thursday, 3/23:

Ok, so I basically left off at the snuggling-turned-sexcapade which started on the couch and somehow ended up in my room.  I don’t remember the details of the location change, only that it happened at some point.  Much later, like 3am later, I had to crash…since I had to be up for a conference call the next day.  I remember being a little put off by the fact that he didn’t get off.  Seriously…wtf is that all about?  In our previous conversations, he’d said he was all about making the girl feel good.  But every guy says that, right?  And while they may make an effort for awhile, in the end, they get theirs.

Dr Honeydew did not.  And I didn’t feel too good about that.  But…I forced myself to go to sleep anyway. 

Friday:

I didn’t sleep worth a shit.  Not used to sleeping in my bed lately, and certainly not used to sharing it.  I’d have slept better if he’d gone to the guest room afterwards, but that would have seemed inhospitable, right?  lol

I got up and went into the living room with the laptop and called into my (3-hour long) boring ass meeting.  Sometime around 11 Dr H got up and proceeded to come up behind me and give me a hug while I was sitting on the couch.  Um.  Ok. 

After the call was finally over, we hopped in the shower (seperately, thank you very much) and then got ready for the game.  Headed down to the West End early and had a late lunch at Landry’s, where Dr H, once again, insisted on paying.  I appreciate the gesture, but let me pay sometimes, too. 

I think by this point I had started to realize that I had no real chemistry with him.  I know that sounds all wrong consider the activities of the previous night.  I like him.  I do.  And I think he’s a great guy.  And the sex was fun.  But I really didn’t have that sparks-flying-electricity thing with him.  And that’s a big thing for me.  Like, if I really like someone, I want them to put their arm around me.  I want to hold their hand.  I want to kiss them at random times.  I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off them.

I wasn’t feeling that with Dr H at all.  Honestly, I wish I would have been.  He’s such a sweetheart.

After Landry’s, we headed back towards the car and then walked over to the AAC for the game.  We sat in my usual STH seats way up in the nosebleeds.  The game, against the Blackhawks, was lackluster.  We should’ve mopped the ice with them.  Instead, it ended up going to OT and then a shootout, which, after about 8 shooters, we eventually won.

After the game, we met up with people in front of the Old No 7 and then all walked over to the West End…which we quickly discovered was a ghost town.  What happened to that place?  It used to be full of people walking the streets, bar-hopping.  We went to 3 different places before we could find one that was still open:  TGI Fridays.  Meh…it’ll do.

We had fun hanging out there with the Austrailian Stars fans that were in town, as well as a lot of the usual crew.  Dr H drove home because I’d had plenty to drink by then.  We stopped at Denny’s (so I could pee) and ordered some food.  Then went back to my house.  Another night of sex and another night of him not getting off.  My ego is taking a beating at this point.  He atleast partially blamed the condom (I wanted to be on the ring for over a full week before going without a backup), but never once asked to not wear it.

Saturday:

Slept late so that kind of killed our plans of going to do much.  Decided to take him to the World Aquarium but when we got there (2 hours before they closed) there was a line wrapped all the way around the building.  We decided to try again Monday, when it was less apt to be so crowded.  So we went to the Arboretum instead. 

Again, one of those places that, if I was really into someone, I would’ve wanted to hold hands, stand close, etc.  And again, I wasn’t feeling it.  Every once in awhile maybe, but not like it should be in that situation.  This was frustrating me because I felt like a shallow bitch.  I can’t even pinpoint the reasons, I just know I’ve felt like that with every other person I’ve seriously liked.

Back to my house to get ready for company.  I’d invited people over to hang out and meet Dr H.  Most showed up around 8 and we sat around and talked for awhile, had drinks and snacks.  I’m such a social butterfly when I drink, so I’m wandering around talking to everyone and kind of deserted Dr H for much of the night.  I feel bad about that now, but wasn’t consciously doing it.  I was just trying to be a good hostess or something. 

Hours later, a few more people showed up and I was completely toasted by then.  Flirt and I, very unwisely, decided to make a run for the border to get food.  When we got back (thank God!!) I got the message that Dr H was not too happy about us driving….and he had every right to feel that way.  It wasn’t a smart move AT ALL and not something I’m proud of. 

Apparently, at some point, my big mouth shared info I shouldn’t have shared with a few people.  Ugh.  Remind me why I drink again??  But I also learned some info that made me a little uncomfortable.  Not going to get into that right now…  People cleared out a little before 3am and Dr H and I ended up breaking in my new chair and a half.  That was relatively fun, but nothing to write home about. 

Sunday:

Didn’t sleep too late considering.  Headed to the Stars vs Calgary game that started at 2pm.  We had the lower level seats my (old) boss gave me awhile back.  Great seats!  And a great game!!!  That was fun to watch.  And my Mikey scored a goal right in front of us!  :)

After the game, we met up with some friends and visited for awhile.  Then some of us walked over to Hooter’s for lunch.  Dr H barely talked during lunch….it was a little uncomfortable.  Later he told me he wasn’t feeling well.  Had an upset tummy.  Got back home around 7 I think.  I’m losing details (dammit…this is why I wanted to write as the weekend went on) but believe we just hung out at my house the rest of the night. 

I think that was the night that he asked if we could talk.  He said there had been all these unknowns before his visit and wanted to know if all my questions were answered and what I thought now, having spent a few days with him.  I wasn’t sure how to answer that without being awkward.  So I just said that I was glad he was here and that I was having fun with him, but didn’t see anything coming from it.  Long silence where I felt like I should say more….so I brought up the long-distance thing and how I won’t do it.  He says ok and then more silence.  Eventually we just start talking about something else….and had sex on the couch (that time I know he got his!).

Gosh, I am such a whore.

Monday:

I set my alarm so I could get up and work (from home) half a day.  Dr H had coffee made for me.  Awww.  Got a fair amount done and then called it a day around noon.  Then we went for lunch at the Corner Bakery in the West End and then the Dallas World Aquarium.  No line this time…yay!  My tour guide skills suck because I think we ended up doing stuff in the same part of town at least 3 or 4 times.  The DWA was cool, as usual.  I think Dr H enjoyed it, too.

After that we went to Wizard’s and shot a few games of pool and had a couple of drinks.  I miss playing pool.  I used to be good, dammit.  Now…not so much.

Back to my house where we had a pretty heavy makeout session up against the wall in my hallway….which lead to what had to be several hours of sex in various places and positions.  Midway through that, during a brief break, he turns to me and says, “I love you.  You know that right?”

“Um…no you don’t,” I say.  “You heart me.”  Heart being our safe word of expressing that we care about each other.

He says, “I know it’s one sided.”

No response from me.

More sex (and no, gak, no prizes won thankfully!).  Then my bladder finally took over and I had to stop for a potty break.  That pretty much ended the mood.  And I was glad for it.

He worked on my door (leaks when it rains) for awhile and tried to replace the bottom piece with something that you couldn’t even close the door afterwards.  So we hurried back to HD before they closed to buy a different one…which also didn’t work.  So now I have less protection there than I did and holes drilled in the bottom of the door for no reason.  Grrrrr!  I tried not to be too pissy about it because I could tell he felt really bad.  He put some foam stuff on there temporarily until I can get something else done to it.  And it’s supposed to rain while I’m out of town.  Sigh.

A little later, knowing we have to be up early to take him to the airport, we head to bed.  He mentioned that every time the subject of “us” came up, I got really quiet.  And said that, if the distance really was the only problem, that he wished I would reconsider.  That we would make it work.  I don’t know what to say, so I say nothing.  Then he says if it’s more than just that, to say so.  That he’ll still be my friend, no worries.  So I say, it’s more than just that.  That sounds too harsh, so I add that the distance is a factor, but it’s certainly not the only reason.

So I tell him that I know myself.  And I know how I am with someone I really like.  And that I haven’t been that way with him.  He says he’s noticed that the only time I really touched him much was when I’m drinking and that he wasn’t sure if I was just trying not to let the people around us know that I liked him or what.  I tell him that the fact that I wasn’t trying to hold his hand or be affectionate throughout the day tells me there’s something missing.  He says that makes him sad because he thinks we would be really good together.  That we are very complementary and compatible.  And that he really does love me, but knows he can’t make me feel the same way.  And wouldn’t try to.

Again, I’m speechless.  I don’t know why I couldn’t talk to him about what I was thinking.  Well, yes I do.  I don’t want to hurt his feelings.  I don’t want to make him sad.  I don’t want to feel like I’ve led him on.  I feel like a bitch so I say nothing and we eventually fall asleep.

Tuesday:

He woke me up at 6am (after I’d snoozed my alarm….I told him not to let me do that).  He had coffee made for me.  Dammit he’s so nice.  I get ready for work, he showers and gets his stuff together.  We left the house around 7am for the airport.  The ride there was mostly silence.  Little bit of small talk here and there, but mostly silence.  And me, being the wuss that I am, have tears in my eyes most of the way because I feel like the thing I was most worried about, our friendship, is in jeopardy.

We get to the airport, I pull up to drop him off, get out of the car and walk to the back with him to get his stuff out of the trunk.  A big long hug, him agreeing to text me to let me know he got home ok, a peck on the mouth, another big long hug, him telling me again that he loves me, and then he heads into the airport.  And I drive away with a few more tears.  I’m annoyed at the way I wasn’t able to talk to him like I normally could.

A little before lunchtime I sent him an email from work thanking him for coming to see me and all the nice things he does.  And tell him I’m sorry that I can’t say I more than just heart him…but that my lack of actions proves that to me.  And that I’m frustrated and regretful that I let things go the way they did.  And that I still think he’s one of the greatest guys I know.  It sounds so lame, but I didn’t know how to express what I was feeling.

He texted me to tell me his flight landed back in Florida.  Later I get a response to my email where he says he thinks I really do more than heart him but that I’m afraid of the consequences of that.  Because of my sheer distaste for the long-distance thing and not wanting to deal with it.  But that that is a conversation for another time.

I really don’t think that’s it.  And am annoyed that he’s trying to tell me what I feel.

I’m a hypocrite I guess because of the physical side of his visit.  But dammit, consenting adults and all that.  I love him to pieces as a friend, I’m comfortable with him, and we both wanted sex.  Is that so wrong?  Am I kidding myself?  

Game day

The past week has been a bit crazy.  Full of obscenely early conference calls and back to back meetings and little to no sleep.  I’m glad it’s over.

Went to happy hour with some friends last night.  That was a good idea.  I’m glad I didn’t wimp out and decide not to go.  It was good to sit and laugh and talk for a few hours. 

Tonight’s the first home Stars game since the Olympic break.  So I’m going to that.  Yay!  After that pathetic loss to Phoenix the other night, we better kick some Avs’ ass tonight.  An out-of-town Stars fan is in town this weekend, so we are meeting up before the game for dinner at Tony Roma’s. 

I’ve been horrible at staying on WW this week.  I blame the screwed up schedule, but that’s really no excuse.  I have just under 3 weeks until Dr Honeydew’s visit and was really hoping to be out of the 180s by then.  It’s still doable, but it’s going to take some real committment on my part to make it happen.  And more than just eating right…I’ve GOT to start exercising. 

I’ve almost reached full panic mode on that particular situation.  Almost.  I’m questioning everything.  But most of all, I’ve stepped waaaay back from him in a sense.  Because I think we’ve gotten a little too carried away with the idea that there are bigger things at work between us.  And I’d hate to have mislead him by encouraging those thoughts if, when he’s here, it turns out I’m not even remotely attracted to him.  Or vice versa.

But anyway, I don’t really feel like regurgitating all of that right now.  I’m just going to lay here and veg and watch a movie until it’s time to get ready to head towards downtown.

Return to the Land of the Living

So tonight, I actually made it a point to leave work early enough to make the Stars game.  I’ve missed attending entirely too many games lately due to work and realized enough is enough!  It was good to be among friends again, rather than spending all my time with co-workers and emails and support issues and such.  And even though my boys put forth a mostly lackluster performance, it was still a nice win.

There was a horribly scary moment when one of the Predators’ players went, what appeared to be, headfirst into the boards.  He bounced off the wall, face down and slid out across the ice.  And then didn’t move for a very long time.  You could have heard a pin drop at the AAC.  They ended up taking him off the ice on a stretcher.  Very scary.  They ended up calling a boarding penalty and game misconduct on one of our players, which didn’t make any sense.  Daley wasn’t close enough to the Pred to have boarded him.  But afterwards, we figured the refs probably made that call to settle tempers and prevent any possible retalliation by removing Daley from the game. 

We heard later that the other player was apparently ok, but that they were taking him to the hospital to get checked out, just to be safe.  Really hope all is well.  That was the freakiest thing I’ve ever witnessed during a game I think.

Supposed to go see some friends new house this weekend in conjunction with a superbowl party.  I have no interest whatsoever in watching the game.  Couldn’t even tell you who is playing.  But was promised that talking would not be taboo, so figure maybe it will be a chance to catch up with some of the girls at least. 

Cast of Characters: Dr Honeydew

So I’ve decided to make note of some of the people that are near and dear to me at this point in my life.  I’ve mentioned many of them before, but have decided I will, occasionally, devote an entry to describing the relationships I have with each and what it is about them that I love so much.  And maybe what annoys me, too.  We’ll see how it goes.

So to kick things off is someone I have known for awhile but still don’t really know:  Dr Honeydew.

I met Dr Honeydew a couple of years ago when he was in town for a Stars game.  Didn’t really spend much time talking to him, as it was a big group of us, and he had to get back on the road towards home.  We talked online sporadically after that.  Then, in 2004, we started talking more often.  I think maybe it was around the time I was buying my house and was asking for tips from people on home repairs, etc.

Anyway, fast forward to today.  Dr Honeydew and I talk almost every single night online and have for just about a year now.  He is the one person that I can vent to about any and everything.  I can talk to him about things that I don’t talk to anyone about.  Probably because he’s not here, and, as he says, we don’t have to look each other in the eye.  So I can bitch about a friend pissing me off or about my pathetic social life or, yes, even my adventures in the world of “casual sex” without worry of him repeating it to someone else and creating potentially awkward situations. 

He doesn’t judge me, or if he does, I can’t tell.  He’s supportive.  He’s incredibly smart and he’s a smartass (2 HUGE bonus points in my book!).  And he keeps me honest.  When I try to talk myself into or out of things, he always manages to ask the right questions that make me see the bigger picture.  And then, whatever decision I end up making, whether he agrees or not, he supports that it is my choice.  And when I’m in one of my meloncholy moods, he can always make me smile.  Or even better, laugh. 

When we met in person (the one and only time) was not long after Dr Honeydew was supposed to be married.  Although they called it off, they stayed together for awhile longer.  When he finished his doctorate, he moved to another state for work and expected that she would be following shortly thereafter.  Well, that didn’t happen either.  So now we both bitch and moan about our sad (lack of) love lives.  At least he’s making an effort to get out there and meet people.   I don’t have that courage yet.  Well, it comes and goes.

Over the past year, I feel we have gotten to know each other pretty well.  Atleast, as well as you can over the internet and the occasional phone call.  And I consider him to be one of my very dearest friends.

He’s been hoping to come to Dallas again soon to visit and catch a few more games.  If he does come, I’ve offered to let him stay at my house.  In the guest room, of course.  Within the past few months, it’s come down to him actually having specific dates in mind.  Because of monetary issues, it’s been up in the air as to whether or not it will actually happen…and it’s starting to look more and more like it won’t.  Atleast not any time soon.   Yet, just the thought that it could has forced me to acknowledge certain thoughts and feelings that I have about him. 

I realize, having been down that road before, that it’s easy to think you know someone pretty well and might even like them based on conversations alone.  You have to keep in mind that all the feelings you might have for this person are based on the illusion of who you think they are…the picture you’ve painted of them in your mind.  In the real world, however, we all know there is a certain physical aspect to attraction as well.  Based on pictures I’ve seen (I only vaguely remember what he looks like from when I met him), he’s not the typical “type” that I generally go for.  Then again, given my track record with “my type,” that may be a good thing.  Plus, I was 30-ish pounds lighter when we met, too.

It’s not that, really, that troubles me.  Well, it does a little because I don’t know what to expect if and when he does come to visit.  I mean, we’re friends and we care a lot about each other.  I know that.  I just don’t know if either of us is expecting/hoping/thinking that there may be something more there.  And even if there is….hello?  He lives in another state!! 

What I’m most concerned about is that, what if he visits and it’s awkward?  Or what if we just can’t stand each other??  Because, frankly, the idea of losing our friendship frightens me.  I love him to pieces and couldn’t stand it if I lost him as a friend. 

Happy New Year!

The Stars have had a winning tradition on NYE for years.  They even fought to get the schedule rearranged so they could play at home on New Year’s again this year.  Something magical always seemed to happen at each year’s game.  This was the first NYE game I ever got to attend.  My baby daddy scored two goals.

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It was the only two goals the Stars scored all night.  We lost  3-2.  Dammit.  Why the hell did my boys wait until the 3rd period to start playing to win??  Oh yeah, and it was our group’s declared green hair night. 

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We sat around on the patio, drinking appletinis and reflecting on the past year and what each of us had accomplished and learned in 2005.  We got a little emotional (I’m sure the alcohol helped) and talked about our friendships and relationships and stuff.  And then realized it was almost midnight so we ran back inside, grabbed the party hats and scrambled to find the countdown to the New Year on tv.

We found the channel just in time to catch the “3…..2…..1….” part.  I’m a dork and forgot the whole kissing thing that happens.  I’ve been home by myself on NYE the past 5 years.  So as we are all saying Happy New Year to each other, I give Nala a hug and he gave me a peck on the cheek.  The kissing thing still didn’t occur to me.  Then I go to give Curly a hug.  He was apparently going for a kiss and ended up with my cheek.  It wasn’t that I wouldn’t have kissed him, I just didn’t expect it.  And to make matters worse, I then kissed everyone else after that.  Everyone but Curly and Nala.  I hope he didn’t think I intentionally dodged him.

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>My faraway friend, I’ll call him Dr. Honeydew, called after midnight, on his drunken walk home.  So we passed the phone around and let everyone say hello and Happy New Year and stuff.  He’s an absolute doll and I love him to pieces.  I’ve alluded to him in here once before, but I won’t point it out now.  That’s a story for another day.

So, Curly is this guy that I’ve known for a year or two now.  He has short wavy hair, hence the Curly.  Tall.  Nice looking.  Incredibly dry wit.  Very quiet.  Introverted.  Very even-keeled.  He’s a great guy.  He really is.  And sometimes I think there is a potential relationship there.  Several of my friends insist that he’s into me.  I’m not so sure.  But the bigger question is, am I interested in him?  Sometimes yes.  Sometimes no.  I think maybe he’s too old for me.  I don’t necessarily mean in years, although he is about 8 years older.  What I mean is, he’s a lot more settled down.  A lot more laid back.  I don’t know if we’d like the same things, other than the Stars. 

Dr. Honeydew, who I can talk to about damn near anything, says that these are things you find out when you date someone.  And that I either want to date Curly or I don’t.  I, however, am of the opinion that I don’t want to cross that line of friendship to find out if I like him as something more.  Because it’s hard to backtrack from that and remain friends.  I think that, in spending more time with him as friends, I’ll learn more about which direction I am leaning and whether or not I really am interested in something more.  And if he is as well.  Dr. Honeydew says that is me being a chicken.

What say you?

Comments from old blog:Nilla – Jan 01, 06:  Which one is Curly?

I get really philosophical in themiddle of the night… I say, if you didn’t want to make the guy your soul partner, then, don’t push it. I personally don’t want to “settle” for someone. Yeah, he’s nice and I like him or whatever, but if there isn’t that pssion and connection then it’s just not there. I don’t think that kind of stuff grows from nothing.

SWF – Jan 01, 06:  Curly is the guy I’m hugging on my patio.

I know what you mean about not wanting to settle. Boy howdy, do I! There’s a spark there, I just think I’ve just become so overly cautious and guarded over the past few years that I am nit-picking every possible scenario and how it might play out.

Nilla – Jan 02, 06:  Yup, he’s pretty cute. And every time I see new pictures posted of you on here, I’m struck by how pretty you are! I don’t see why you’re trying to lose all that weight. I think you look fine!

 Laura – Jan 03, 06:  I think you should GO FOR IT with Curly :) I agree it would be scary, because when you cross over the friendship line it *IS* hard. And I know he’s mentioned things about certain attributes that are important to him in a woman that would be hard for anyone to live up to!! Like awesome credit scores and stuff. lmao But I think he is DEFINITELY into you. He’d be crazy not to be!! And I think he’s absolutely adorable. You definitely need to think about it, because of the friendship there. But I’d say it is definitely something worth thinking about!!!!

Daisy – Jan 03, 06:  Rats, Laura! I’d forgotten someone was reading that knows me in “real” life. LOL

And hey, I have an outstanding credit score! I’ve been more than responsible with my debt…I just have too much of it. 😛

Yes, he’s adorable. But I don’t know if we are compatible. I think we (all of us! lol) are a little too wild sometimes. I just don’t want it to be awkward. And if I’m wrong about it (on both sides), it could be.

Daisy – Jan 03, 06:  Oh, and Nilla. Thanks. But I have the benefit of only posting pics of me where I don’t have 5 chins or my gut rolls aren’t showing. 😛

Laura  – Jan 04, 06:  That’s okay….. your secret is safe with me! :)

Thanks for the laugh, Red!

Today was an odd mix. 

It was a good day because my boss gave me 2 lower level tickets to a Stars game in March.  And thanked me for doing such a great job this year.  Said I really took on the challenge of my new role and ran with it.

It was a bad day because my boss told us he has accepted another position in the department, effective January 1.  And one of my coworkers will be taking over as manager of our team.
It was a good day because, when I got home tonight, I had a FedEx package from Red.  Early birthday present?  What is this?  When I opened it and saw what it was, I laughed so hard I cried.  I guess my tantrum-like stomping of my light up heels and insistence on what I was NOT supposed to be at the Halloween party made a lasting impression.

It was a (very cool) plaque from Target.  With the following design on it. 

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

Around this time last year, I had enjoyed several servings of Turkey (wink, wink) and was rushing him out the front door because my parents were less than an hour away and I still had to clean house.  This year, no Turkey for me.  And no turkey either. 

I normally get Thursday and Friday off for Thanksgiving.  However, this year, they decided to give us the option of saving the Friday and using it in December.  Since I’d rather have the time off for Christmas, I opted to work this Friday so I could have the extra day later.  Then, Monday, I end up sick and haven’t been in to work all week.  So now I am working today and tomorrow to avoid wasting 3 days of vacation on being sick. 

My brother that lives in this area, Duckie, has the whole week off from work, so he made use of one of middle brother’s, Red Baron’s, passes and flew to San Diego to visit oldest brother, Dilbert, and his family for the week.  He got there Saturday evening.  Mom & Dad headed that way on Tuesday.  I’m not sure if Red Baron and his family decided to go, too, or not.  Since Red Baron’s family usually spends most of the holiday with my sis-in-law’s family, they may have opted to stay in town. 

So, here I sit, on Thanksgiving day, alone with my dog, watching the Thanksgiving Day Parade on tv.  I could feel sorry for myself for missing out on being in San Diego (somewhere I’ve never been) with the rest of my family.  Or for being sick and snot-nosed and working when I should be off.  Or for still being single, with no hope of ever meeting Mr. Right.  Or for being buried in debt and having to force myself to keep the same crappy furniture for another year to avoid further burying myself.  I could really have a pity party. 

But…

I’m not.  Instead, I’m grateful for being able to work from home, in my PJs, with my dog to keep my feet warm.  I’m grateful to own my own home (yes, I realize, I am still paying for it). 

I’m thankful for my family and all they have done for me and continue to do for me.  My parents totally and completely rock, there is no arguing that.  My brothers, although I don’t get to see them as often as I’d like, are cool as hell and are there for me whenever I need them.   I have the most adorable, sweet, and smart nieces and nephews who are growing up faster than I’d like to admit. 

I’m thankful for the friends I have made in the past few years that literally pulled me out of the depths of my despair.  I’m thankful for those that I have managed to establish true friendships with.  I’m grateful for those that annoy the crap out of me and force me out of the house when I don’t want to be as well as those that know when it’s best to just leave me alone.

I’m thankful for the promotion I received at the end of last year.  I have truly enjoyed my job exponentially more than I did previously.  I’m grateful for the opportunity I was given and the challenges I faced.  I’m grateful I was able to meet, and even exceed, the expectations that were made of me. 

So while I could find something to complain about, on today of all days, why would I?  Cheers to you and yours!

Happy Turkey Day!