Tag Archives: drinks

Peaceful, easy feeling

It’s an overcast, breezy Sunday morning and I am sitting on the patio, drinking my coffee, and playing a little fetch with Loki.  The past 3 weeks have been utter hell.  We have an OFCCP audit at work next week and so I have been working 12-18 hour days, including weekends, to make sure all of our ducks are in a row.  I have been the living dead for 3 weeks now.

Friday afternoon, we were able to finish up the most urgent of our work and I actually left the office by 5pm.  It was a tiny miracle so I felt I needed to take the opportunity to unwind a little and talked a coworker into going to the dive bar near work for a couple of drinks.  After that, I met my friend V at one of our fave little neighborhood bars for more drinks and to catch up. 

I just have to say that it was the perfect slice of heaven at that particular moment.  I was finally able to relax, laugh, and just generally feel human again.  And the added bonus is that I was able to sleep that night!  No insomnia, just crashing from sheer exhaustion!  The weeks of little to no sleep had finally caught up with me and the drinks managed to shut my brain off enough to allow me to finally get some much needed rest.

After getting to bed around 2am, I was up letting Loki out around 8…but then laid back down on the couch and slept until…SIX PM!!!  I would’ve felt guilty except for the fact that I KNEW I needed it!

Today, rather than stressing out over the audit and whatever else this week will throw at me, for this moment, this peaceful moment on my patio with my dog, I am relaxing and it feels great.

GNO, the final countdown, & painted corners

Last night was GNO for the hockey group.  We take turns planning them, so this month, Miss Hut opted to have us meet for dinner at Gloria’s.  While a nice restaurant with yummy food, the timing was bad.  There was an away game on at 3 and dinner was at 6.  Being Stars fans, helloo….we wanted to watch the game.  So a few of us made an impromptu decision to meet up before dinner to watch the game.  The girls and the guys.  That was fun.

Then the 4 of us girls headed to Gloria’s, where there were no reservations previously made, waited on everyone else to show up, were seated at a long table that made it virtually impossible to talk to anyone other than those on your immediate left or right.  Two girls left quickly after dinner (one had a date, the other had a bday party to go to with her hubby).  The rest of us decided to head over to a local bar for a few drinks where we could chat more easily.

We get to the bar and everyone is even more sedate than before.  It was just an odd mix.  About 15 minutes later, the husbands of 2 of the girls showed up.  Normally, this would have been a serious GNO faux pas, but in this case, it was welcome.  The GNO was over and it never even felt like it got started.  Odd moods all around. 

Dr Honeydew will be here in 4 days.  And I find myself very moody and irritable.  The most surefire way to make me crazy bitch woman is to paint me into a corner.  This time, I think I helped hold the brush, but I am becoming annoyed with the whole situation.  Suddenly now if I don’t feel like talking about any preconceived ideas of an “us” I’m acting weird or distant.  Um….no.  I’m acting like the FRIEND that I have always been.  There is no US, remember?! 

He says I’m allowed to have doubts….these AREN’T doubts.  How can you doubt something you don’t even know?!?!  I know he is a good friend.  But stop acting like I am supposed to know how I feel about you as anything more than a friend right now.  Yes, I’ve seen pictures.  Yes, we’ve been talking for 2 years.  Yes, I met you briefly once upon a time.  Yes, we’ve had phone sex a few times.  But for fuck’s sake, that’s not enough to make me all mushy lovey dovey about seeing you in 4 days.  Hell, NOTHING is enough to make me all mushy lovey dovey all the fucking time.  That’s not me.  I might have moments, but that is not who I am 95% of the time.

When I talked to him last night I said I just want to know that no matter what, we will be FRIENDS like we’ve always been during your visit.  He says of course we will.  Do I believe that?  No.  I think it will be awkward as hell if one of us isn’t interested in anything else.  Shit.  I should’ve never let the past 2 months of conversation turn into this.  We could’ve just met as friends, been cool, had fun.  And hey, maybe we would’ve had a few drinks that might have led to more.  Now everything has all these fucking conditions and strings and doubt and fantasy world bullshit attached to it.

I DON’T WANT ANY EXPECTATIONS!!!!  And as much as he says there are none, I know that there are some….very high hopes atleast.  If I’m not attracted to him, he’ll be all hurt and then I’ll feel shitty and then it will be all weird.  Yes, based on pictures I’ve seen, I think he’s cute.  Note I said cute.  I’ve never dated anyone I thought was “cute.”  I’ve dated people I thought were HOT.  Does that make me shallow?  Not necessarily.  Some of the same people I thought were HOT, others thought were meh at best.  I can’t help who I’m attracted to.  None of us can. 

I know I’ve always gone for the tall, lean (to the point of being ricidulously skinny according to others), dark haired hot guy with an edge.  Tattoos, facial hair, pierced ears, blue collar.  Some combination of all that.  Yes, the traditional “bad boy” look.  I know.  So I tell myself, this guy is NOT a bad boy, I should try (again) to learn to like the nice guys.  He’s tall…..that works for me.  He’s also atleast 70 pounds heavier than anyone I’ve ever dated.  Will that bother me?  I have no idea.  I’d like to think that it won’t, especially given the fact that I’m certainly not at the weight I need to be.  But at the same time, that’s yet another thing that makes him so drastically different from any guy I’ve ever liked.  Granted, he has a lot of GOOD qualities that are drastically different from the men of my past, too.  Which is what draws me to him I think.

I just want to go back to being excited about my FRIEND coming to visit, hang out, and catch a few Stars games.  And I don’t even know if that’s possible now. 

This is me freaking out.  It’s not a pretty, but I had to vent somewhere and this really isn’t the sort of stuff Dr Honeydew should have to hear.

Impromptu Girls’ Night

I met Miss Hut and Flirt for dinner last night.  I’ve been forcing myself out of anti-social mode lately and decided I should stop turning down the invites.  They were planning on a dinner and a movie, so I agreed to meet them for dinner. 

I got to hear all the latest on Miss Hut’s wedding plans, Flirt’s latest crush, and of course, a few bits of gossip.  Dinner evolved into relocating for drinks elsewhere and them skipping the movie all together. 

Thanks to Flirt’s probing questions, we soon discovered that, while Miss Hut has gone south on her fiancee, he has yet to return the favor.  I was appalled by this initially.  Like, that selfish bastard!  But Miss Hut, who had never been intimate with a man before this, indicated that she wasn’t sure she was comfortable with the idea.  I guess I can understand that.  So we told her to have a few drinks, relax, then go home and insist on a little oral action.  😛  Flirt and I bought rounds of shots…but somehow I doubt that was all it would take for Miss Hut to be comfortable.

Then I got 20 questions from Flirt about Dr Honeydew’s visit.  I probably said more than I should have, knowing that the two of them used to talk online pretty often, and still do on occasion I think.  I do know that, when she got home, she IM’d him about his visit.  I know this because I was on the phone with him at the time.  😛  So I have no idea if whatever I said was repeated to him or not.  Meh…I don’t care.  I am pretty certain I didn’t say anything to the 2 girls that I haven’t already talked to him about anyway.

We left the bar around 11:45.  I called Dr Honeydew and talked to him all the way home….and until the way wee hours of the morning.  I think I was well over a 3-hour phone call.  Thank heaven for free weekend minutes!  😛

Supposed to head out to Corinth for the superbowl thing at 3 today.  I need to find out how long the people I’m riding with are planning on staying.  Found out the game will probably last until 9 or 10 tonight and I can NOT stay there that long.  In the meantime, I need to try and work some support issues today.  I am waaaay behind.