February 27th, 2010
The Red Tent by Anita Diamant
My Review: 4 of 5 stars
I have to admit that I was not familiar with the Bible story when I read this book. Out of curiosity, I did go look it up after I finished the book.
Diamant did a wonderful job of describing what life may have been like in those days. Though I can’t imagine having to spend time once a month, banished to a tent and squatting on straw with all the women in my family, it does make for an interesting dynamic between the women. Like having a secret club where only the select are permitted, these women shared secrets and tales that only they could fully appreciate and understand.
I was devastated for Dinah when her brothers committed their terrible crime and applauded her wrath when she faced them and her father. The story took on a completely different feel with the move to Egypt, but was still just as captivating.
A few lines at the end resonated with me and now, a day later, I still can’t shake them from my mind:
“Egypt loved the lotus because it never dies. It is the same for people who are loved. Thus can something as insignificant as a name…summon up the innumberable smiles and tears, sighs and dreams of a human life.”
Tags: books, goodreads, women
Posted in Just the Girls, The Written Word | No Comments »
February 11th, 2010
Right now I can’t think of her without wanting to tell her to fuck off. And that is a terrible way to feel about a best friend. I am just so pissed off at her right now. And more skeletons are falling out of the closet, so to speak. Things she blatantly lied to me about. What makes it worse is some of those things were things that didn’t sit right with me at the time, but I took her at her word…why shouldn’t I? And because of the circumstances, so many things that only her husband and I know. Things I can’t really share with others that know her or her family. So I’ve got all these crazy feelings all jumbled up. Betrayal. Anger. Sadness. Heartache. Guilt. Failure. You name it.
Red was my partner in crime. My travel buddy. My touchstone. My sanity check. My sister at heart. The one person here that I could talk to about anything and never worry about her judging me or loving me any less. She is the person who normally helps me through hard times….and I THOUGHT I did the same for her. Then she bailed on me with this big fuck you. I’m lost without her and confused and hurt at the thought that I didn’t know her nearly as well as I thought and that I couldn’t save her from her demons. And I’m pissed at her for making me feel these things.
Just such a stupid pointless tragedy…and a precious little boy who has to grow up without ever really knowing his mother.
Tags: death, depression, grief, Red, suicide
Posted in Friends, Just the Girls, Mental Health, Uncategorized | No Comments »
February 7th, 2010
Chuck Klosterman IV: A Decade of Curious People and Dangerous Ideas by Chuck Klosterman
My Review: 1 of 5 stars
This is now the 2nd of Klosterman’s books I have forced myself to read. I didn’t care for the 1st one, and now, less than 100 pages into this one, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s Klosterman, himself, that I don’t like. He seems just as shallow as his writing, and, while he talks a lot, he doesn’t have much to say. I’m done with him.
Tags: books, goodreads, review
Posted in The Written Word | No Comments »
January 30th, 2010
Kick the Clutter: Clear Out Excess Stuff without Losing What You Love by Ellen Phillips
My Review: 3 of 5 stars
This book has some good ideas in it for managing clutter, but regurgitates them over and over to turn what could have easily been a ~100 page book into a whopping 450+ pages of repetition. At least is it a pretty quick read, and the chapter titles and index make it a decent resource if you need to refer back to something.
Tags: books, clutter, goodreads
Posted in At Home, The Written Word | No Comments »
January 12th, 2010
So many things have happened in the past month, even the past year, but none of them will ever come close to the devastating loss of my best friend. I know I need to write about it, to preserve my own memories, and perhaps as a way to help exorcise some of this pain.
I’m just not ready to do that yet. I have entirely too much anger in me right now….which turns into guilt, which turns into overwhelming sadness, which turns into anger again.
Tags: death, grief, Red
Posted in Friends, Mental Health | No Comments »
January 11th, 2010
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling
My Review: 4 of 5 stars
I waited forever to read the conclusion to the HP series, presumably because I didn’t want it to end, but more accurately, because I had been waiting so long for it to come out in paperback that I forgot about it!
While it appears to be a very thick, very long book, I sped through it in an evening and a half. Like the HP books before it, once I started, it was hard to put down. A great story and a nice conclusion to the series.
Tags: books, goodreads, Harry Potter
Posted in The Written Word | No Comments »
December 1st, 2009
Today I found out that one of my very best friends, Red, died of an overdose while in Italy. Of what, I don’t yet know. I got the news via a rushed text message from her (estranged) husband who was about to board a plane to go bring her home. I was able to talk to him for less than two minutes before he had to get off the phone. I don’t know all the details, only that I refuse to believe this was intentional.
She was in Italy, on her dream vacation, as a way to cope with spending her first holiday seperated from her son. She had been posting happy updates to facebook chronicling her adventures in Tuscany and then Florence.
And now she’s gone?? I can’t fucking believe it.
I am in shock. I am confused. I am pissed. And I am heartbroken.
I keep hoping and praying that her husband will call me when he gets there to tell me that it was all a big misunderstanding and that she is fine. I don’t want this to be true.
Tags: death, Friends, grief, Red
Posted in Friends | 1 Comment »
November 24th, 2009
So, I didn’t send that email, but after not hearing from him in almost a week and him not responding anymore, I saw him online today,. I ended up sending a him a message. Since clearly he wasn’t going to contact me and I am tired of playing the waiting game.
So I IM’d him and said that although he told me not to feel like I was bugging him, that I couldn’t help but feel that I WAS. And that it seemed like if I didn’t call or message him, I never heard from him. So that I was going to just back off and leave him alone. He responded and said he would just have to call and message me then. No, that’s ok, I told him. If he wanted to, he would’ve already been doing that. Then he disappeared from the IM window. Not sure if it was accidental or on purpose, but either way.
I followed up with an email and just said that I hoped I didn’t sound rude earlier, that I wasn’t mad or anything, but that, ever since I went down to Beaumont to see him, he has been completely different towards me. And very distant. I wrote that I think he has had a change of heart and just didn’t want to hurt my feelings. So I would let him off the hook. No worries, and that we are still friends as far as I’m concerned.
Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything, but I meant it when I said I was not going to play games. I said what I needed to say so that I could retain an ounce of self-respect rather than throwing myself at some guy who clearly is just not that into me.
Yeah, it stings a little. Even though I don’t have any illusions that he would’ve been THE guy. I couldn’t picture us together long-term, but I was willing to deal with the distance to find out. The worst part is to have had some semblance of hope restored only to be snuffed back out.
Tags: dating, relationships
Posted in Boys Will Be Boys, The Single Life | No Comments »
November 20th, 2009
Be Honest: You’re Not That into Him Either – Raise Your Standards and Reach for the Love You Deserve by Ian Kerner
My review: 4 of 5 stars
Any guy who writes a book titled, “She Comes First,” must know what he’s talking about, and that appears to be the case here. It’s kind of sad to admit that a lot of what Kerner discusses in this book is spot on. We have lowered our standards. We do tend to settle for the “in the meantime,” rather than be alone.
Some takeaway quotes:
- What is the point of dating someone if he doesn’t make you feel great?
- What is the point of casual sex if the sex part isn’t any good?
- Dating “in the meantime” is wasted time. Someday is right now. Life is too precious to get stuck in an endless cycle of meantimers who will never, ever wind up with you in the here and now.
Tags: books, dating, goodreads
Posted in The Single Life, The Written Word | No Comments »
November 20th, 2009
Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love by Helen Fisher
My review: 3 of 5 stars
This was pretty interesting. Understanding the chemical changes that cause us to fall in “love” may not mean we can control it, but we can certainly have more influence over who we do and who we don’t give the opportunity to trigger those chemicals being released!
Tags: books, goodreads, love
Posted in The Single Life, The Written Word | No Comments »
November 15th, 2009
I was sitting here watching this cheesey movie, and one of the characters asked another if she believed in happy endings. I felt an overwhelming sadness as I realized that I don’t. Not anymore. I’m not even convinced I believe in happiness right now. I think maybe it’s just a myth.
Tags: happiness
Posted in At Home, Mental Health, The Single Life | No Comments »
