Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

A message sent to someone else, but it says what I would have written here.

Thursday, February 11th, 2010

Right now I can’t think of her without wanting to tell her to fuck off. And that is a terrible way to feel about a best friend. I am just so pissed off at her right now. And more skeletons are falling out of the closet, so to speak. Things she blatantly lied to me about. What makes it worse is some of those things were things that didn’t sit right with me at the time, but I took her at her word…why shouldn’t I? And because of the circumstances, so many things that only her husband and I know. Things I can’t really share with others that know her or her family. So I’ve got all these crazy feelings all jumbled up. Betrayal. Anger. Sadness. Heartache. Guilt. Failure. You name it.

Red was my partner in crime. My travel buddy. My touchstone. My sanity check. My sister at heart. The one person here that I could talk to about anything and never worry about her judging me or loving me any less. She is the person who normally helps me through hard times….and I THOUGHT I did the same for her. Then she bailed on me with this big fuck you. I’m lost without her and confused and hurt at the thought that I didn’t know her nearly as well as I thought and that I couldn’t save her from her demons. And I’m pissed at her for making me feel these things.

Just such a stupid pointless tragedy…and a precious little boy who has to grow up without ever really knowing his mother.

SPF: Happy to be Stuck with You!

Friday, December 9th, 2005

Dec 9th – Happy To Be Stuck With You

  • your tattoo or birthmark
  • your bumper sticker
  • something you keep changing
  • I got my first tattoo the summer after my senior year in high school.  It was my graduation present to myself.  I’d been warning my parents for years that the day would come.  They didn’t believe me.  They were out of town, so I headed on down to the creepy little tattoo parlour, Magic Dragon, and told them what I wanted.  The kid that did mine drew it by hand first and got my approval.  But when it came down to actually inking me up, he got a little carried away freehanding the leaves.  I think it’s top heavy and have been meaning to get some rework done but have yet to do so. 

    I wore socks around the house for almost 2 months before my parents finally caught on.  They were not happy. 

    The second one came when I went with a friend of mine to get hers done.  In the boredom of waiting, I decided I needed another.  They really are addictive.  So, prompted by my parents insistence on how ugly and “not feminine at all” my first one was, I decided for something a little more girly-girl.  This one is on my extreme lower hip area.  It’s kind of a hidden surprise for anyone that chooses to venture south.

    My third and final tat I got when I, again, accompanied someone else to get theirs.  It was much cuter when I was skinnier and had a nice flat stomach.  Now everyone asks what it is.  Moths?  Ivy?  I figure eventually it will look like a pile of raisins falling out of my belly button.

    I don’t have any stickers on my car’s actual bumper.  But I do have this on the back glass:

    And last but not least, something I keep changing.  My hair hasn’t been it’s natural color since about 7th grade.  In fact, I’m no longer exactly sure what my natural color is anymore.  I’ve had blonde (ick…never again!), black, red, orange, blue, streaked, you name it.  For the last 10 years or so, I’ve preferred auburn.  Or various stages of reddish brown hair.  From flame red to dark cherry, to blackberry. 

    It’s funny because people who know my family (who all have dark brown to black hair) will ask me where I got my red hair from.  I always smile and tell them my grandmother had red hair. 

    They don’t need to know hers came from a box as well. 

    So…did you play?

    Comments from the old blog:

    Mama Duck – Dec 11, 05:  Alright, I’ve always wondered about a tatoo on the ankle, doesn’t it hurt on that bone thingie?!?!?!

    It’s very cool though!!!

    I agree with Kristine…LOVE the hair!

    kristine – Dec 11, 05:  I’m glad you played.

    OH and…COULD YOUR HAIR LOOK MORE HEATHLY? I THINK NOT!

    I love that color!!

    Nilla  – Dec 10, 05:  The raisins cracked me up too.

    Tattoos ARE addictive. All mine are girly, and I have eight. Most of them are black ink only (cuz I like it). Same story: I had a design put on my leg, and when it was done I had two tattoos. They were separated instead of together. Oh well, I figure one day I can add some more crap and make them joined. I am now feeling like posting my own tattoos for fun!

    I don’t have bumper stickers either- they’re window stickers. My favorite is Happy Bunny sitting on a toilet, and he says “I made a little sculpture of you”. My mom was not entertained.

    CharlotteinPa – Dec 10, 05:  I didn’t find tattoos addictive… after I first got mine I wanted another because I felt cool, but now all I remember is how much it hurt. :-) Glad you played!

    Kami – Dec 10, 05:  Yeah, I’m not sure what color my hair is, either!

    LeafGirl77 – Dec 10, 05:  “a pile of raisins falling out of my belly button” I love it. Great visual!!  Thanks for dropping by!