Category Archives: Blogging

I don’t remember what normal feels like.

I guess, if I want to start blogging again, I’m going to have to find some speech to text program to spare my poor arms and hands. By the time I finish the ridiculous hours of work, I’m in too much pain to come here and update. Work tells me do what is right for me…take care of myself first…then, oh, by the way, I need XYZ from you by 8am tomorrow.

I can’t remember what it felt like to be pain-free. Or to have a life.

Too many tweets, not enough blogs.

I recently installed a tool on my blog that is configured to post a daily summary of my twitter activity.  Now, looking at it, I see that I post far more frequently there than here.  Reason being, it’s easy to spout off a short statement at random times throughout the day.  However, writing an entry to my blog requires a bit more of a time commitment.  Not to mention the fact that it is something I would NEVER do from work.

The good thing about the daily twitter summaries is that I can read back through them and often that will help remind me of something that I wanted to blog about.  Then it’s just a matter of carving out a small block of time to actually do it.

I’ll have to try that.  My head is so full of random stuff that needs to be “downloaded” to make some room (for new random stuff, of course)!

I miss my blog.

I know few, if any, still read this, but it has always been a great outlet for me to get things off my chest, ramble, whine, etc.  I haven’t been doing that regularly and boy can I tell!  I must think, at least once or twice per day, I need to blog about this.  But I just haven’t been making the time for it.  Along with all of the other things I haven’t been making time for.  I’ve crawled back into my proverbial shell and, whether I want to or not, I need to force myself out of it again.  Retreat is fine so long as it doesn’t become the norm.  And it has definitely become the norm.  Enough of the funk.  It’s a new year, right?

So, what has been happening lately?  I got a new puppy!  Almost 2 years after I lost Mazzy, I finally decided I was ready to share my home with another furry friend.  A friend of mine forwarded me an email from a lady who fosters dogs.  At the time, she had just rescued a pregnant dog from the pound that was scheduled to be euthanized.  I had no idea they would do that to a pregnant animal!!  The dog had had her puppies and they were now looking for homes.  One adorable little furball jumped right out of the picture at me, so I had to go meet him and his siblings.

 I mean, just look at him.  He’s sooooo cute!!  And of course, I’m a sucker for blue eyes!  There were two other puppies that looked like Rottweiler and beagle mix, one that was all black, and one that all tan.  And then there was Loki, with his blue merle coat and pretty blue eyes.  Definitely the odd man out in the litter.  The mom was a hound mix, but no clue about the daddies.  Later on, I would learn that he, most likely, is an Australian Shepherd, or Aussie, mix.

I went, on a Sunday morning to meet them and, while I was predispositioned to love Loki (or Spot as they had been calling him), I also was drawn to one of the other little cuties.  I spent about 30 minutes in this woman’s backyard, cuddling with the two puppies and trying to decide if I should take one, and if so, WHICH?  Not wanting to make a rash decision, I told her I needed to think about it and would get back with her by that evening.  I knew she had others coming to see the puppies the next day, so I wanted to make up my mind while I still had options.

I ended up going back that night.  Previously, “Spot” was a bit of a concern to me because he just kept biting and chewing everything.  I know he’s a puppy, but he was doing it faaaar more than the other puppies.  So when I went back that night, having decided I was going to take one of them, and having narrowed it down between Loki and one other, I spent more time with those two specifically.   I noticed that one of Loki’s eyes was more blue than the other.  One had started turning brown.  We played, we cuddled, they peed, etc.   And in my heart, I still just knew it had to be Loki.  It helped my decision greatly when the other started biting and chewing just as much.  So, I chose Loki.  I went back two days later to bring him home.  He was almost 7 weeks old and weighed about 9 pounds.

Fast forward to today.  He just went to the vet on Friday for his last puppy booster shots and his rabies vaccination.  At 14 weeks, he now weighs 24.8 pounds.  He’s gained 11 pounds in the past month!!  Did I mention he is going to be a BIG BOY?!  Best estimates from the vet is that he will be between 50 and 70 pounds when full grown.  Mazzy was only about 48 pounds, and what I considered to be a pretty average sized dog.  I knew Loki would be big when I got him.  I mean, his paws are HUGE! 

He’s been going to puppy school for 3 weeks now and is really smart and a quick learner, but stubborn!  He cracks me up on a daily basis though.  I have really missed Mazzy and am so happy to have a dog in my home again.

Oh, and now he only has a half-blue eye.  The other is completely black.  I really hope the blue stays!  His black patches on his back have started…expanding.  He has a long black, mixed with grey, stripe down his back now.  But still has little spots on his legs and head.  It will be interesting to see what kind of patchwork pattern he ends up with!

P.S.  Loki is the Norse god of mischief, and he is certainly living up to his name!

Merry Christmas Eve!

Yet again, I have been ever-so-absent on my blog.  I’m heading to Beaumont today for the holidays and, since my parents finally have high-speed internet, I may actually try and blog from there.  We aren’t having Christmas until Friday since my brothers have to do their family things first.  So I should have some downtime.

Until then, if anyone actually still reads this, I hope you have a wonderful holiday season and enjoy time spent with your loved ones.

IOU

I just haven’t had the time to blog lately.  And when I have had time, I just wanted to relax (and enjoy my latest addiction).  So, I owe entries on the following:

  • Hurricane Ike (my family lives in Beaumont)
  • Friends who vent about others’ acts of “rudeness” when, in fact, that friend is guilty of the very same acts
  • Biting the bullet and calling EAP to get back into counseling
  • How the Roku box for Netflix instant viewing over my tv is taking over my life

I still have orphans.

It just occured to me that when I started blogging over here, I never finished moving all of my old dirty martini posts.  Much to my chagrin, I was having to do it manually.  Which also sucks because I lose all of the comments that went with them.  But I would much prefer having everything in one place and finally being able to delete the old blogdrive one.

Not remembering my logic on how I was moving posts before, I decided to just start at the beginning, in August 2005, and work my way forward.  Some of the 2006 and on blogs are already here (no idea what the method to my madness was).  So anyway, as of right now, I officially have all of August and September 2005 on here.  Looks like there’s at least a year or two missing for me to copy/paste.  This weekend, I’m hoping to get the rest of 2005 moved.   We’ll see.

Bloggity blog.

I gave myself a goal of trying to get back to blogging more frequently.  It’s so frustrating to feel like I have to play catch up when I haven’t posted in a month.  So my itty bitty baby step was going to be to make sure I blog at least once a week…whether I have anything to say or not. 

I have lots to say these days, but after pulling an all-nighter for work last night and an early day tomorrow, I’m just too tired to type coherently. 

But I blogged.  So there.

Hooray for a long weekend!

This past week and a half has been utter hell.  Several times I caught myself wanting to come blog about some things, but decided to wait until some of the hurt and anger wore off.  I’ve buried most of it, but still get beyond pissed thinking about it.  Between all of that, another week of wicked insomnia, and a horribly tedious week at work, I’ve decided to just bite my tongue.  Instead, I’m going to look forward to the weekend!

I’m heading out to my brother Dilbert’s house at the lake tomorrow morning and planning to stay through Sunday.  I invited a few friends, with Dilbert’s permission of course, but it was so last minute that everyone had already made plans.  My friend, V, is planning to come out tomorrow night and stay until Saturday.  My parents are driving up.  So it should be good times.  I’m looking forward to catching up with V, lounging by the pool, playing a little poker, and drinking adult beverages (in moderation however…I did say my parents would be there).

So here’s wishing you all (in my mind I like to pretend there’s more than 2 or 3 people who read this) a safe and happy 4th of July!  Enjoy the time off, whatever your plans are!

MIA

I’ve been terrible, absolutely horrible, at blogging lately.  I guess I’m in one of those weird phases where I am practicing what my momma preached:  If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.

I’m just really disappointed.  About a lot of things really.  But the latest news was a serious blow to the gut.  You know how you say, “Oh X would NEVER do something like that.”  You are so strong in your belief and faith in this person that you would never waver or even consider it a possibility.

Well, like the saying goes…never say never.  I know we all have our breaking points, and we can only take so much, and considering I’m not in that position, it’s easy for me to say I would never do something like that either.  But these things can creep up on you.  And I think that is what happened to X.  Can you really blame a person for wanting, no, needing something?

I’m not so much disappointed in X as I am at what our society is becoming, at what is acceptable, at what is valued and what is not, and how we are all at risk in one way or another.  Seven deadly sins and all.

I’m not much of one to pray, but I don’t mind admitting that I’ve been praying for X.  It’s not a good path….but I will try to knock some sense into, be there for, support, and love no matter what. 

I’m keeping the faith.

Are you kidding me?

Get paid to blog?!  Sounds too good to be true, but let’s dig a little deeper, shall we?

I was browsing random blogs one day and came across a link that claimed I could earn some cash while doing something I already do…blog.  Of course, I clicked on that link quicker than a hungry monkey could eat a banana. 

After reading all about it, I thought it sounded like a great way to add a little cushion to my pocketbook.  Have you bought gas lately?  Then you know what I’m talking about.  I mean, come on, somebody is going to give me money for something I do anyway and it doesn’t cost me anything other than a little of my time?  Sign me up!

I did, in fact, join PayPerPost.  All I have to do is accept blog opportunities that appeal to me.  It can be anything from reviewing a product to giving feedback on a particular website to blog reviews. The list is constantly changing and there is a lot of variety in topics.  In exchange, I get some extra bucks to fill my tank!  Super-duper bonus would be to earn enough to put a dent in my debt.  Let’s see how it goes.

Either way, it sounds like a win-win to me.  If I’m wrong, I’ll be the first to admit it.

Duh.

You know, it just occured to me that I could just switch to the new blog and finish copying stuff over as I can.  Rather than posting blog entries there that no one can see while this location sits idle.

Some days I’m brighter than others.

I’ll be doing that within the next week.  Promise!

This week I’m too busy with prep for lots of work travel and a severe injury to my darling Samuel L that still has me feeling sick to my stomach.  But we’ll talk soon!!

Dirty Little Secret

Ok, I’m sure all two of my readers have noticed a haphazard, inconsistent, manner to my blogging in recent weeks.  Time to confess….I am in the process of moving my blog! 

The sad part is, blogdrive does not provide an export capability, so I am having to manually copy and paste my old entries into the new blog.  What a pain in the neck that is….plus it means I lose all of your wonderful comments that have been left over the past couple of years.  :(  Further confirmation that I don’t want to use blogdrive anymore.

So pardon my absence while I work on the transition.  Once everything is all caught up at the new location, I’ll be sure to let you know!

I’ve been a bad, bad girl.

Apparently I was tagged by Andrew several weeks ago but I haven’t checked in here for comments in awhile.  I’ve been neglecting my poor blog.  I have a confession to make about that later.  But for now, I must perform my taggee duty.

The rules are pretty simple.  The taggee must list 8 facts/habits about himself/herself.  The taggee then becomes the tagger and tags 8 people to play the game as well. 

So, here goes…

  1. I lost one of my two front teeth by running out of a doorway at church at precisely the same time another kid was running into it. The top of his head collided with the top of my mouth. It only half knocked my (baby) tooth out though. So we had to go see our dentist friend. He told me it wouldn’t hurt a bit, and then proceeded to yank the tooth. He lied. I screamed like a banshee. I’m much more careful and walk through doorways now.
  2. I wanted to go to film school, but when I got a scholarship to Lamar, I had to settle for their RTF program, a focus of the Communication Department. I worked at a news station briefly and hated it. I wanted creativity, not 2-shots of the anchors. I used to make music videos (in my head and sometimes on tape) for fun. I remember a really cool one for Judas by Depeche Mode. I wish I still had it.
  3. I wore glasses for about a year when I was younger because I was cross-eyed. Now I’m only cross-eyed when I drink.
  4. I started smoking when I was in 7th grade. So young and so dumb. I know I should quit, but I’ve never really gotten serious enough about it to even try.
  5. I used to play the piano. Now the only time I get to play is when I go to my parents’ house. And every time it gets harder and harder. I can still play some stuff from memory, but I struggle with reading music now. My parents have this great old upright piano that I claimed years ago as mine, but, when I first moved to Dallas, I didn’t think I’d have room for it. Now that I’m in my house, I have room, but no easy way to get it here.
  6. I can’t STAND metal utensils touching my teeth. Maybe that’s from having braces, I don’t know. All I know is it makes me crazy. Even if someone else bites down on a fork and slides it out of their mouth, I can FEEL it and I cringe.
  7. I was named after my great great grandmother. I’ve seen my name on a headstone. Weird feeling.
  8. When I was a kid, my brothers and I used to melt those constructo-straws on a lamp in my room. We thought it was cool. Until one day, the lamp fell over and burned my leg. I have a big round scar on my thigh from that. It’s mostly faded now, but I know it’s there.

In my case, since I don’t know 8 people who actually read this, and since one of them is the one that tagged me, I’m going to say, if you read this YOU HAVE BEEN TAGGED.  That means you now have to list 8 facts about yourself on your own blog and share the link by commenting here.  Sounds fair, right?

A quick update

Work is about to become insanely busy, between testing the new version of our LMS to be installed in October, creating training materials for the entire system, and an internal customer project I’ve been “hired” to manage, the rest of 2006 promises to keep me on my toes.  I’ll try not to let this affect my blogging time too much.

Mazzy is doing well.  She had her drain tube removed on Friday and, today, I took her back to the vet to have her bandages removed.  Now I can see the stitches from both her spaying and tumor removal.  Poor thing looks like Frankenstein.  I haven’t seen the vet since before her surgery last Wednesday, but I am assuming that Mazzy must be healing as expected because the tech told me today I could go ahead and schedule an appointment to have her stitches removed next week. 

I wonder how long it will take her tummy fur to grow back.  Although, in this heat, she may prefer the shaved look. 

This weekend I’ll be holed up in my house trying to get the programs done for our charity hockey game on the 24th.  Nothing like waiting until the last minute.  Hopefully the team coordinators will have all the bios to me by then. 

I’m not sure what the deal is.  This is the 3rd year we’ve held this event and I’m not sure if people just don’t care anymore or what.  No one seems to be hyping it up.  No one wants to do anything to help (not entirely true, there’s a few, but I’m whining and it’s more dramatic if I say NO ONE).  Everyone just wants to show up and have fun.  But there is soooo much that has to go on behind the scenes for that to happen.  What good does it do to meet and come up with all these great ideas of how to bring in more money if there is no follow through?  And I don’t have the energy to pick up the extra tasks.  There’s no time now anyway. 

I have a meeting with my design team tomorrow morning  that I am just barely prepared for.  And I’m afraid to go to sleep now because I suck at waking up with the alarm.  I hate when I do this. 

About damn time

I had company this weekend, so no time to blog.  Then, thanks to the reliability that is blogdrive, on two seperate occasions I sat down to create an entry and the damn site wouldn’t load.  Grrr.  So now, I’m behind again.  I hate when that happens because my entries turn into a novel-length rambling mess.So Dr Honeydew came back to town last Friday.  All I can say is, “What was I thinking?!”  Why did I even entertain the thought that there might be something more there after feeling just the opposite after our first “meeting”??  I think the whole vacation bliss was in effect in San Diego.  That plus the wine plus the jazz band.  I was putty.

After spending the weekend in intermittent bouts of silence with him,  I can honestly, and with conviction, say that I have ZERO interest in this guy as anything more than a friend.  Don’t get me wrong….we had fun at times.  But mostly, everything we did, I could’ve done by myself and been just as entertained.  I’ve never in my life sat through dinners or lunch that were soooo…..quiet.  For three days, that’s what it felt like.  And after awhile, I gave up on trying to start conversation and amused myself by making up conversations for other people (in my head, of course).  I kept thinking, we talk all the time online or on the phone.  What’s the deal?  But then I realized, most of the time, that’s me talking.  And I’m tired of talking about everything and nothing just to not have to sit there silently and pretend like that is perfectly normal.

I’m being harsh…but only because the more I thought about it, the more annoyed I became.  I’ve gotten myself good and wound up about it now so I’m not being rational or kind.  I’m venting.  Take it as such…..

Mainly I’m annoyed with myself because I went the less confrontational route.  I didn’t want to hurt his feelings but, at least a dozen times I wanted to yell, “Do you have ANYTHING to talk about?!?!”  That coupled with being made to feel like a guest in my own fucking house.  I don’t need you up my ass making dinner together.  Turned into him making dinner.  We’re not a fucking couple.  I don’t need help loading the dishwasher.  And I sure as hell don’t need you standing there staring at me while I do it.  Sure, he’s nice.  Sure, he’s a good friend.  But that’s all we will ever be.  I am not convinced he’s grasped that yet though.   You’d think that since the only times I’m ever physical with him are after lots of drinks and in the dark would be a clue.  But no, according to him, that’s just my true feelings coming out.  In vino veritas, my ass.

We went out to the Wildflower Festival Saturday and I got to see part of Jonny Lang’s show, which was cool.  But it was so freaking hot and there was no shade anywhere near the stage, so we didn’t stay long.  Got semi-dressed up after that and went to dinner and then Humperdinks.  I can’t name one single conversation that we had the entire night…because there wasn’t one.  Just stupid shit like, “how’s your eye?” or “how’s your food?”  I wasn’t miserable or anything, because I can do as Depeche Mode suggests and “Enjoy the Silence.”  But then for him to say what a great time he had with me…..I’m just stunned. 

And what happened that night just reaffirmed everything I have been thinking since the beginning.  Sure, the first time he was here we had a lot more sex.  But what can I say…it had been awhile and I was drunk and horny.  This time, one night.  And that was enough.  I just can’t make myself get into him.  Especially knowing that he thinks we should be together.  He is a decent kisser though.

Oh!  And then Sunday we ended up going to shoot pool  We had a deal that the loser was buying.  And since he had paid for every damn thing all weekend, including stuff for my house (that’s just creepy to me), I was determined to pay for our drinks and pool.  So, while not purposefully losing, I certainly didn’t make any attempt to win either for the first several games.  After being down 3 games to 0, I figured I could redeem myself a little.  Later we were tied at 4 games each and I said we had to play one more because we couldn’t end in a tie.  And what does he do?  He tells the damned waitress to put our tab on his card.  I’m like, NOOOO!  We had a deal.  That pissed me off.  And of course, I ended up losing that game because I was too pissed to shoot the last couple of shots.  He kept saying, “It’s no big deal,” but to me it was. 

Ugh.  I feel guilty just typing this now.  Knowing me, I’ll probably edit it later to tone it down some.  Why do I get so wrapped up in not hurting someone else’s feelings that I completely ignore my own?