I’m about to pop in a dvd and vegetate on the couch for a few hours. If that doesn’t keep me occupied, I’ll probably interrupt someone’s evening with my bored IM ramblings. Oh, who am I kidding? I’ll do that either way.
The internet truly is a fascinating place, I have to admit. Aside from being an excellent time-waster, a quick reference center, and a shopaholic’s dream (or nightmare perhaps), it has proven to be a fairly successful place to make some new friends.
As I look back over the last year or so of my life, it occurs to me that the majority of people I like to call friends these days are those I have met through common interests online. And I’m not talking pen-pal, let’s IM, reading each other’s blogs type of friends. But real people that I go to lunch with, have drinks with, see concerts with, and generally enjoy knowing. I wonder where I would be right now had these various people not become a part of my life. To these people I say, “I treasure your friendship!” 😉
Although the online dating scene, that I ventured into in years past, was disastrous. I think there has got to be a point, very early on, where you meet in person and get it over with. Otherwise you do this back-and-forth emailing, maybe some instant messaging, perhaps even phone calls. All adding to the illusion that you know, and possibly even like, this person. Then, when you finally do meet, if you don’t hit it off in the “real world”, you’re faced with the awkward dilemma of explaining yourself.
No, I’m not shallow. I don’t base my like/dislikes of the opposite sex solely on physical appearance. But, I hate to break it to you, anyone who says it doesn’t matter is bullshitting you. There has to be some sort of attraction. It could be as simple as a great smile or the way they carry themself, but there has to be something. And when it’s not there, you’ve spent all this time building a psuedo-relationship with someone who you, ultimately, have no interest in dating. While you may enjoy their company and genuinely want to continue a friendship with them, we all know that response is rarely welcome.
I think the lesson learned here is that the best route is the direct route. Why waste each other’s time tiptoeing around the subject. You either like each other or you don’t. You can’t force something that isn’t there. I tried. And I failed miserably because, rather than admit (to both the guy and myself) that I wasn’t into him in that way and risk hurting his feelings, I continued to go out with him. Partly because I was determined to stop dating the same type of guy that I always seem to find myself with. But also because he was a lot of fun and a really incredible person. There was just no real spark. I’m not proud of the way I handled it and have vowed to do better in the future.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been on the other end of that situation, too. It just seems guys are better skilled at the quick exit.
Oops. Didn’t mean to go off on a tangent there. Funny how the mind works. Now how about that movie?