My counselor gave me the assignment of writing a letter to my ex, aka, Asshole, about a month ago. I resisted it and came up with every excuse not to write it, because, hell, we broke up more than 8 years ago and I wasn’t willing to admit he had any sort of impact on my life today.
After several weeks of excuses, I finally decided I would write the damn thing and get it over with. With guidance, I finally understood that it wasn’t about Asshole. It was about me forgiving myself for staying in that relationship for as long as I did. And about recognizing the abuse as something I will no longer tolerate. And about saying goodbye to the past and to stop fearing it and allowing it to keep me from moving forward.
In the process of writing it (typing), a few things came out that surprised me and made me realize that I was still suffering from the past. All in all, it was a very emotional journey, but I am glad I did it. The following week I had to read it outloud to my counselor. And it felt good. I felt like a load had been lifted off my shoulders. I wish I’d done it sooner!
I may copy it here in the near future as a way to remind myself of my progress.
I have to stop now because I’m half watching a movie and its distracting me. So I won’t delve any deeper into this subject right now. 😛