I watched The Break Up tonight. Let me first say this, it is NOT a comedy, contrary to what the previews would have you believe. I think we’ve all seen enough people go through this, or gone through it ourselves, to not find much pleasure in watching some fictional on-screen characters fight their way through. (I’m contradicting myself a bit here because Breaking Up, with Salma Hayek and Russell Crowe, is one of my favorite movies…for the simple fact that I so strongly identified with that couple at that point in my life)
I will say, without giving too much away for anyone who hasn’t seen The Break Up but would like to, I was relieved that it didn’t go for the obvious happily-ever-after ending.
A (former) friend of mine, who was great at producing little nuggets of wisdom and quotes, taught me a number of things at a time in my life when I was willing to accept them. One of which was, you teach people how to treat you. And another, a woman’s heart slams shut. When we’re done, we are just done and no amount of talking or flowers or romantic gestures is going to change that. Granted, it may take some of us a loooong time to reach that point, but once we do, there is no turning back.
The peculiar thing to me is why some of us (both men and women) have a tendency to stay in a relationship that has soured. There’s the convenience factor, sure. And fear of being on your own again. But honestly, why should any of us settle for anything less than someone who loves and respects us as much as we do them?
After a cumulative 13 years of unhealthy, one-sided relationships, that is what I’m holding out for. Even if it means another 6 years of being single! And if it doesn’t happen, at least I’ve learned how to be happy on my own. I may forget that at times, but it is probably one of the most valuable lessons you can learn in life.